[0.0s] Previously on Dumbgeons and Dragons.
[2.6s] A large green dragon comes out bursting from the waterfall.
[7.6s] You climb and crawl, sliding your way down.
[10.6s] The chamber itself has 40 foot high ceilings.
[14.3s] You step into the chamber and you are approached by a group of elf guards.
[19.5s] What are you doing here?
[21.9s] Hi, my name's Thea. These are my friends.
[24.6s] Aren't you supposed to be guarding the entrance?
[26.7s] We are guarding the entrance.
[28.0s] We weren't told that more people were coming.
[30.4s] What's the secret password?
[32.5s] Are you kidding me right now?
[34.0s] OK.
[34.4s] Bluff check.
[35.0s] Nat 24.
[36.6s] OK, you're right.
[37.4s] There was no secret.
[38.9s] What is this?
[39.8s] Clubhouse for children?
[41.5s] You walk down a long narrow corridor.
[46.0s] Quit touching me stuff.
[47.9s] You see three large ettins.
[51.3s] Hey, he's stealing your shit over there.
[53.4s] What the fuck are you doing over there?
[56.0s] And she takes this huge club that she has and just starts wailing on the other one.
[60.8s] Oh, my God.
[62.0s] I reach forward and I open the door.
[63.5s] Inside you see about a dozen elves and one human.
[68.8s] Is Delaine the human?
[70.8s] Delaine is the human, yes.
[72.3s] Yay.
[73.6s] I mean, boo, it's not good, but yay.
[76.9s] We would like to get into Naren Vane's chamber,
[80.9s] so we need you to create a distraction.
[84.2s] They're over here.
[85.1s] They're trying to break in.
[86.4s] They're over here.
[87.4s] And you hear the footsteps of cultists coming down the hallway.
[91.3s] You enter into what looks to be created as a lush living space.
[96.6s] Kind of I peek inside the trunk.
[98.4s] Acid splashes from it.
[100.1s] Everybody.
[101.0s] Oh, my God.
[102.3s] I'm so sorry.
[103.3s] Takes 5D8 acids damage.
[106.6s] Oh, my God.
[110.6s] I am the worst.
[112.8s] Thea, you're looking around and you find a secret passageway.
[117.2s] You look around this room some more and you see a journal.
[120.2s] And it reveals that the green dragon mask is already
[123.9s] at the Well of Dragons.
[125.4s] And as you guys are reading this,
[127.0s] you hear screams echoing down the halls from some of the elves.
[133.2s] But you hear the loud roar of Kuth entering back into his lair.
[140.1s] Welcome to Dumbgeons and Dragons.
[141.9s] We're a fifth edition actual play podcast.
[144.4s] I'm your Dungeon Master, Russ More.
[145.9s] And with me today is Amy More.
[148.0s] Yeah, I am.
[150.0s] And I also play Thea Anastasia.
[153.1s] And Tom Laird.
[154.7s] Hey, that's me.
[155.8s] Yeah, I play Flint Firebeard.
[158.1s] And Carla Johnson.
[159.8s] That's me.
[160.8s] And I play Nularaaaa Moonbrook.
[163.2s] I was so hoping I was going to be last,
[165.0s] because as soon as you started talking,
[166.8s] I was like, think of something good to say.
[169.1s] Think of something good to say.
[170.4s] I saw that look of hope on your face.
[172.3s] And I was like, nope, she's going first.
[174.6s] So you didn't get any gold out of that.
[176.7s] That was your own fault.
[177.8s] Well, we've been going now 38, 37, or 38 episodes.
[184.1s] I don't know which one this is.
[185.4s] I think I came out with one good one at one point.
[190.1s] I think somewhere in there.
[191.4s] Yeah, I had like a good opening.
[192.9s] Like, did you know?
[193.9s] Blah, blah, blah, something, something.
[197.0s] That's probably exactly what it was.
[198.7s] I think it was bad.
[199.6s] And it was just as good that time.
[201.2s] It was real good.
[202.0s] Blah, blah, blah, something, something.
[204.2s] So we're a Dumbgeons and Dragons podcast.
[207.1s] And we play Dumbgeons and Dragons and tell a story.
[211.0s] And if you like that story, which hopefully you do,
[214.5s] it's getting very exciting, there's
[216.9s] going to be things happening in this next episode coming up
[220.8s] here that you're going to enjoy.
[223.4s] Spoiler alert, Russ.
[224.8s] I know, right?
[226.4s] OK, you may or may not enjoy it.
[228.8s] Hopefully you do.
[230.0s] But if you do, you can find us over on Patreon, too,
[232.8s] where we have a whole other game going on.
[235.6s] Whoa.
[236.8s] And Tom's going to tell us a little bit about that game
[239.2s] because he runs it.
[240.4s] Tell us about it, Tom.
[242.1s] Unlike the one that Russ is DMing for us,
[244.5s] which is the Rise of Tiamat,
[246.4s] this one's all off the top of my head for the most part.
[249.4s] So it's been interesting to try to write an ongoing adventure
[254.2s] and not have it suck.
[255.3s] And so far, I think it's going OK.
[257.0s] Yay.
[259.4s] Way to sell it.
[260.2s] Well, see, I didn't know that Tom was thinking all of this stuff
[263.1s] on his own.
[263.8s] Me neither.
[264.3s] So I would say that's amazing.
[266.1s] I thought it was going good anyway.
[268.2s] Oh, well, that's very nice.
[269.5s] Now with this information, I'm highly impressed.
[273.9s] Yes.
[274.7s] We have that going on over on Patreon,
[276.9s] which every month we release a dungeon side
[279.2s] scroller, which is what that is.
[280.9s] And then when Tom's brain runs out of ideas,
[284.7s] we'll come up with another game.
[286.3s] Coming soon.
[288.1s] I want to hear the sound that Tom's brain makes
[290.6s] when it runs out of ideas.
[292.7s] I'll record the audio and text it to all of you.
[295.9s] But after that, we're going to be doing a Fatecore game
[298.3s] as well.
[299.2s] So if you want to get in on all of that great stuff,
[303.2s] including every once in a while,
[305.1s] we randomly dedicate an episode to one
[307.8s] of our patrons, who this week is Nathan Donahue.
[312.6s] Hey, Nathan.
[313.8s] Nathan's the best.
[315.2s] Thank you, Nathan.
[316.0s] And thank you, everybody else, for joining us on Patreon.
[318.6s] You're all amazing.
[319.7s] And if you want to join us on our community over there,
[322.7s] go to Patreon.com slash dumb dragon cast.
[326.6s] And that's all the notes I have today.
[328.6s] It's just talk about Patreon,
[330.6s] throw it to Tom awkwardly.
[332.4s] Uh-huh, nailed it.
[333.4s] Wrap it up.
[334.3s] Fuck it, let's play D&D.
[335.8s] There we go.
[336.7s] Yay!
[339.4s] Currently, you are in a secret room
[342.5s] in Naren Vane's quarters,
[345.1s] which is what you assume is Naren Vane's quarters.
[348.2s] And you hear the rumbling through the caves
[351.4s] and the yelling of cultists
[353.2s] and the giant roar of a dragon
[356.3s] as Cuth has come home.
[359.3s] What do you do?
[362.6s] Throw him some sort of surprise party
[364.6s] and he hopefully has a heart attack from the surprise
[367.2s] and just drops dead.
[369.1s] I like it.
[369.9s] I like it, but let's keep brainstorming.
[371.7s] Okay, you have just thrown ideas out.
[373.3s] Yep.
[375.0s] Oh, we have a rope.
[377.6s] And as he's walking through the door,
[379.2s] he's not gonna be looking down.
[380.6s] We trip him.
[382.3s] He has a heart attack from the surprise of the fall.
[385.4s] We could just sprinkle some Lego out on the floor
[387.9s] and then he'll step on it and like hop around a bit
[390.4s] and then fall over and have a heart attack.
[392.2s] Yes.
[393.2s] I was gonna say we could write,
[395.6s] open me on that chest and we could poison him too.
[399.0s] So if we're all gonna be poison damaged,
[401.0s] at least the enemy could be as well.
[404.2s] Look in here with a big arrow.
[406.2s] But who'd be stupid enough to open that chest?
[408.9s] They're all good strategies.
[412.0s] Perfectly normal chest.
[414.0s] So you hear-
[415.6s] Definitely not poison inside.
[418.0s] You hear from distant from back down the hallway
[421.2s] because you've gone down some hallways
[422.6s] to get to the room you're in now.
[423.9s] You hear screaming of what sounds like
[427.0s] it possibly could be the Elven guards.
[432.7s] You hear a commanding voice.
[437.0s] You don't hear what they're saying
[438.3s] because it's a bit farther down
[440.4s] but you hear a commanding voice
[441.7s] and then footsteps starting to head down the hallway.
[446.9s] Wasn't our original plan to wait for Naramvain
[449.2s] and then attack him
[450.6s] so we don't have to worry about him
[451.7s] and the dragon at the same time?
[453.2s] I believe so.
[454.0s] That I believe was the one, yeah.
[455.6s] Good.
[456.4s] Let's stick with that.
[457.3s] I like it.
[458.5s] I wanna beat the shit out of whoever poisoned that box.
[462.3s] That's who's to blame.
[464.1s] Right?
[466.7s] You guys said you weren't mad about it.
[468.6s] You said, that's okay, Thea.
[470.2s] Don't worry about it, Thea.
[471.9s] Oh, I see.
[473.1s] No, we said it like, that's okay, Thea.
[475.5s] Don't worry about it, Thea.
[477.7s] Damn it.
[479.5s] Hey, Thaddeus, you wanna heal us up?
[481.6s] Yeah, yeah, I could heal you.
[483.8s] Tom, you have to pick which spell he does though.
[486.4s] What about mass healing word?
[488.9s] How does that sound?
[490.3s] Yeah, you could do that.
[491.2s] I will roll a d4.
[494.4s] That is a three.
[495.2s] So five hit points, everybody gets back.
[497.4s] That totally makes up for the 20 we all lost,
[499.5s] right guys?
[500.3s] Yeah.
[501.2s] Everyone's good now, right?
[502.6s] Everyone's happy.
[504.3s] Setting picture for you.
[505.5s] You are in like a back secret passage closet.
[510.5s] Small shrine is in this room to Fen Meryl Mesterine,
[514.8s] the elven god of outcast scapegoats and solitude.
[518.2s] Hence, Naren Vane keeping this back here.
[520.4s] This is where you found the journal.
[522.2s] Through the door that you went in to get here
[524.4s] is Naren Vane's presumed chambers.
[526.6s] There is another long hallway that you went down
[529.0s] that went through the cultist quarters
[532.6s] and their kind of store room area.
[535.2s] There was another room off to the right.
[539.2s] You came from the left that you didn't really go into.
[543.6s] And you hear multiple footsteps
[545.8s] coming towards the area where you are.
[549.0s] I say we go into Naren Vane's room.
[551.0s] Yeah, it's just the three of us, right?
[552.8s] Nobody came with us.
[553.7s] Or sorry, the four of us, cause Thaddeus.
[555.9s] Oh, Flaming Kins too.
[556.9s] Flaming Kins, yeah.
[558.1s] Right.
[559.4s] And oh no, six, seven of you
[561.4s] because you have Delaine and Laska with you as well.
[565.0s] That's right.
[565.8s] So this is like a, this is a packed party.
[568.2s] It's a surprise party.
[569.4s] You said it jokingly earlier,
[571.3s] but this is legitimately a lot of people.
[574.1s] Um, sorry, Russ, the shrine room is just off his bedroom.
[579.7s] Yeah.
[580.6s] So we'll say that you three are in the shrine room
[583.6s] and Thaddeus, Flaming Kins, Delaine,
[587.4s] and Laska are in his room.
[591.4s] Just kind of readying themselves
[593.6s] until you guys decide what else you want to do.
[596.2s] I would say we want like him to come in
[598.9s] and then, you know, we catch him by surprise.
[602.2s] So we need to like hide a little bit, right?
[605.1s] I mean, I guess we don't,
[606.1s] if we're in that other little room,
[607.6s] but that's what I was picturing anyway.
[610.6s] You know, he comes in,
[613.1s] stretches, kicks his shoes off.
[616.7s] Sure.
[617.6s] Immediately takes his pants off.
[618.9s] Yeah.
[619.8s] Comes in to find Nulara in the bed.
[624.5s] Twist.
[625.4s] What a twist.
[626.2s] Yeah.
[627.0s] I was going to say Flint, but it's been used.
[629.2s] Yeah, true.
[630.3s] It's fair.
[631.2s] The joke.
[632.2s] No, so you don't want us to seduce him?
[637.8s] You don't think that would go well?
[639.1s] I don't.
[639.9s] I mean, it might go well.
[640.8s] I don't think that plays to Nulara's strengths, no.
[646.9s] Yeah, but this is like a lot of folks, so.
[649.9s] So should some be like behind the door to his chamber
[654.1s] and others stay inside the?
[656.2s] That's what I would think, right?
[658.2s] Yeah.
[659.2s] So who's, sorry, you're looking for places to hide
[662.3s] or you are just.
[663.1s] I just picture us like, oh no.
[666.1s] We've been talking about it so much
[667.6s] that he's going to come in
[668.4s] while we're like scampering around.
[670.7s] I'm giving you guys a little bit of,
[672.2s] because we're just jumping right into this.
[673.8s] So I'm giving you a little bit of.
[678.4s] I will hide in the closet
[682.0s] because that's furthest away from the door.
[684.0s] And if I need to cast a spell
[685.2s] from a secret hidey hole, I can't.
[687.0s] Okay.
[688.0s] So you're in.
[689.4s] I remember Russ, I cast alarm out in the hallway.
[691.6s] Yeah, that's just gone off.
[693.7s] Oh, it went off?
[694.6s] Yeah, that's just gone off now.
[697.2s] There he goes, hide.
[698.8s] Okay, so in Naren Vane's chambers,
[701.6s] there are rich carpets and tapestries
[704.0s] covering the floor and walls of the cavern
[706.6s] and also the log hewn bed,
[708.4s] a large mirror and the illustrious trunk.
[712.1s] I want to hide in the trunk.
[715.3s] There's so many funny places to hide,
[717.7s] like under a rug.
[720.5s] Behind curtains, tapestries.
[723.4s] Have your shoes peeking out from behind the curtains.
[726.4s] Exactly, but realistically,
[728.4s] I think I'm going to sidle up beside the door.
[737.0s] Maybe you and Flint can hit him at the same time.
[739.2s] Can you guys coordinate an attack?
[740.8s] Can you do that in D&D?
[742.6s] So you guys are all in hiding place.
[744.7s] Flint, where are you?
[746.2s] Are you in the bed?
[749.0s] Other side of the door, I believe, much like Nularaaaa.
[752.9s] Nularaaaa, we'll say you're to the right.
[756.1s] Flint, to the left.
[758.3s] You're in the hidey hole,
[759.8s] maybe with Thaddeus and Flamikinskins.
[762.0s] We will be the backup.
[763.8s] Yes, well, and then you can hear what's going on.
[766.9s] Is Delaine still hurt?
[768.4s] No, we healed him up.
[769.4s] He got pretty healed up last time.
[771.7s] And also, wouldn't Amy be hiding
[773.4s] in the hidey hole with Delaine?
[775.0s] Sure, Delaine's back there too.
[776.8s] So Flint and Nularaaaa are the only ones in this main room.
[780.5s] Laska's in there too.
[781.5s] We'll put Laska in there.
[782.3s] Okay, okay, because otherwise
[783.2s] there's like a whole bunch of us in the closet.
[785.8s] Okay, you guys have all found where you're hiding.
[789.2s] You hear multiple sets of footsteps coming down the hall.
[792.7s] The alarm has gone off quite a while ago.
[794.9s] So it's like, why didn't they come sooner?
[796.8s] Who knows?
[797.7s] We were talking about where to hide.
[800.9s] And then, are you guys like,
[803.9s] okay, are you guys like readying to like strike right away
[806.5s] as soon as something comes through the door
[808.2s] or are you gonna let them come in?
[810.4s] How many footsteps can we hear?
[812.8s] Yeah.
[813.6s] Make a check, perception check.
[817.9s] Okay.
[820.0s] Oh, nat 20.
[821.1s] Okay.
[821.9s] You hear what sounds like it could be the sound
[825.7s] of five or six humanoid type people or creatures.
[831.8s] Son of a bitch.
[833.1s] He goes with an entourage.
[835.4s] Sure, yeah.
[836.5s] As one does.
[837.6s] Yeah, if it's even him at all.
[838.4s] If you recall, you saw six cultist members be led from
[842.4s] so you could get into this area.
[844.6s] Okay, well let's just start murdering
[846.6s] but try to keep Naren Vane.
[850.9s] As always, we'll try to keep Naren Vane alive
[853.5s] so we can question him.
[857.0s] Perhaps, yes?
[857.8s] Okay, so let's.
[859.5s] I was thinking we wouldn't attack right away
[861.0s] but if there's that many of them,
[862.1s] like we're gonna fucking attack right away
[863.6s] because we want that surprise attack.
[867.1s] Let's roll for initiative.
[869.8s] You guys will get a first strike.
[871.6s] You two will get a first strike
[873.2s] on whoever comes through the door first.
[877.7s] All right, you guys are readying your weapons.
[881.4s] You hear the footsteps of these things coming down
[885.1s] and immediately stepping through the door
[888.0s] is what looks like a human cultist member.
[892.1s] So one immediately comes through the door,
[894.5s] rushing in and a second one following closely behind.
[899.4s] Roll for your two attacks.
[903.8s] That was a 26.
[904.7s] That's a 19.
[907.5s] Yeah.
[909.1s] That was much better than mine.
[909.9s] That was badass.
[912.3s] Both of those hit.
[913.7s] Roll for damage.
[915.2s] Excellent.
[916.6s] 20.
[919.4s] 12, 14.
[921.2s] First one comes through the door.
[922.8s] Nulara, you jump in behind him and strike him dead.
[927.2s] Flint, you catch the second one in the stomach
[930.4s] and it splits and explodes into the room
[933.6s] because he's running with such force
[935.3s] and even cut into the one behind him a little bit.
[938.9s] Tell me a little bit of the blood and guts
[940.9s] get on Narenvane's bedspread.
[943.7s] Blood hits everywhere except his bedspread.
[948.0s] It seems like it's protected by some sort of magical force.
[951.5s] Like Scotchgard?
[952.6s] Like Scotchgard.
[954.6s] Okay, how gross is it that he put
[956.3s] some kind of spell on his bed
[957.7s] so that bodily fluids wouldn't attack him?
[960.9s] I like it.
[961.7s] I'm rolling with it.
[962.8s] Yeah.
[963.6s] Narenvane's a slimy guy.
[965.1s] God, Narenvane, that told us a lot.
[967.0s] We read his diary and that told us more than that.
[970.2s] It kind of rolls off
[972.0s] and doesn't actually stick to the bed.
[975.8s] I like it.
[976.6s] That might be the grossest thing
[977.6s] that's ever happened in our game.
[980.6s] Narenvane, you nasty.
[983.1s] Three more of these cult members run in behind
[988.6s] followed by one larger human
[991.8s] and we're into battle now.
[994.2s] Nulara, you're up first.
[995.7s] Okay, then I will attack the,
[998.7s] I don't know, whoever's closest to me.
[1000.8s] Cultist.
[1001.8s] One of the cultists, yeah.
[1004.3s] So that is a 23.
[1007.0s] That will hit.
[1009.0s] 23 damage, which is almost the most I could give them.
[1013.3s] Wow.
[1014.1s] So the one that Flint kind of nicked
[1018.0s] with cutting through the other cultists,
[1020.6s] he skirts to the side
[1022.8s] but quickly catches your blade in the skull
[1026.2s] and is exploded into another puddley mess
[1029.7s] which surprisingly enough still does not get onto the bed.
[1032.9s] Still not on that bedspread.
[1034.9s] Okay.
[1035.8s] The bedspread has legendary resistance
[1037.4s] with three uses of it, so.
[1039.4s] There are two more of the similarly addressed
[1042.0s] human cultists who are running in
[1044.1s] and now towards you with their weapons drawn.
[1046.5s] Okay, I'm going to attack one of them.
[1049.6s] That is only a 16 though, 16.
[1053.2s] 16 will still hit.
[1054.4s] Great.
[1055.5s] That is a, oh my God.
[1058.4s] 11 plus six, 17, 19 damage.
[1062.1s] Carla, killing it, literally.
[1064.7s] This is, these rolls are freaking me out.
[1067.4s] We're just hiding in the closet, just watching like.
[1070.8s] Damn.
[1072.2s] One of these other humans now has a look of sheer panic
[1075.7s] as he sees his friend explode
[1077.6s] yet not stick to the mattress
[1080.8s] as he connects on your backswing
[1083.1s] and you cleave him in half as well.
[1086.4s] Okay, Donnie wants to probably just try
[1088.0s] and like come chomp somebody.
[1090.0s] Yeah, sure, there's one more cultist close by.
[1093.1s] Is a 17.
[1095.9s] Yeah, Donnie.
[1096.8s] That will hit.
[1097.8s] Okay, so that is three damage
[1103.4s] and then he needs to do a con saving throw.
[1107.4s] 15.
[1108.3s] Yep, he's fine.
[1109.4s] Flint, you're up.
[1110.3s] So there's one more of these cultists
[1113.7s] that's run in and was now bit by Donnie
[1115.7s] and you hear slower, heavier footsteps
[1117.8s] coming down the hall still.
[1119.8s] Okay.
[1123.5s] Yeah, I guess I'll try and cut this cultist down.
[1126.8s] So yeah, 22 on the attack roll.
[1129.0s] Oh yeah, that'll hit.
[1130.8s] Oh yeah, 11 and five is 16,
[1134.6s] and four is 20, 20 damage.
[1137.0s] Yep, that guy is,
[1139.2s] it's just you're in a room of gore now.
[1141.6s] I love it, I love it.
[1143.8s] If you wanna get out of the gore,
[1145.2s] you have to get on top of the bed though, so.
[1148.9s] So the floor is lava, kind of thing?
[1151.4s] Yeah, and you turn and you look down the hall
[1154.0s] and you just see a very large muscular human
[1158.7s] coming down the hall,
[1160.4s] dressed in what looks like more dragon style armor.
[1165.4s] All right, should I throw an axe
[1169.3s] and then close the door?
[1170.6s] There is no door, it's just a cave opening.
[1174.3s] That's right.
[1176.0s] So I'm gonna throw at least like a beaded curtain.
[1177.5s] Yep.
[1179.7s] It's glittery too.
[1182.1s] How far away are they, Russ?
[1184.1s] They're like 15 feet from the room,
[1186.1s] so like 20 feet from you, tops.
[1189.7s] I'm not opposed to running into the hallway,
[1192.0s] but then there's not a lot of room
[1193.6s] for other people to join in on this bad boy, so.
[1196.0s] It's true.
[1196.8s] I'm kind of inclined to just let him come to us,
[1198.9s] because obviously I think that's what he's coming here for.
[1201.2s] I'd assume, as he just watched us
[1203.0s] like straight up fucking murder, so many dudes.
[1208.0s] Sure, yep.
[1209.7s] All right, yeah, I'll toss a throwing axe at him
[1212.0s] and see if I can hit him with that.
[1213.8s] Go for it.
[1214.8s] That is a 18.
[1217.5s] 18 will hit, yep, 18 will hit, yep.
[1220.6s] Excellent, and my sweet, sweet 1d6 damage is a six.
[1224.8s] Nice.
[1226.2s] All right.
[1227.6s] That came from the closet, that was the end game.
[1230.0s] Woo hoo!
[1231.5s] I know you're in there.
[1233.7s] No you don't.
[1235.7s] It's Laska's turn.
[1237.7s] Laska jumps in front of the hall
[1239.8s] and she lets forth her cold breath.
[1242.6s] Yes, you do.
[1243.4s] Down the hallway, and each creature in that area
[1246.2s] must make a deck saving throw at disadvantage,
[1249.0s] because it's a five foot hallway.
[1252.7s] How many creatures are in the hallway?
[1253.8s] Just the one.
[1255.1s] Both of those are fives, so that's.
[1260.0s] Super good roll.
[1261.2s] Yeah, plus three, so eight.
[1262.5s] So yeah, both of those miss that save,
[1264.8s] so they take 4d8 cold damage.
[1269.4s] They so cold.
[1270.9s] Chilly.
[1271.7s] So cold.
[1272.6s] So cold.
[1274.2s] Oh my, it's so cold.
[1276.7s] I don't know why I was fanning myself
[1278.1s] as if I was hot, but that goes more.
[1280.4s] So cold.
[1281.3s] I'm so cold.
[1283.7s] I'd like it a little bit chillier,
[1285.3s] so I'll move the air around my face.
[1288.7s] I'm trying to keep my extremities warm
[1291.6s] by moving my hand back and forth,
[1293.6s] but it's just cooling me down more.
[1296.7s] 16 cold damage on this larger fellow here.
[1302.7s] It's this guy's turn.
[1305.2s] Okay, so he charges in and he pulls
[1310.0s] what looks like a glowing orb from his bag,
[1315.0s] and he lets forth a breath of green noxious gas
[1321.1s] into the room, and you guys take some damage.
[1327.6s] If I roll well on the ranged spell attack,
[1331.2s] that's a 17 at one target, Flint.
[1337.7s] Hooray, I'm the lucky one.
[1340.2s] So that's a 17, that doesn't hit.
[1344.8s] Fuck.
[1347.0s] That was a lot of lead up for not a lot there.
[1349.7s] It's all right, I appreciate it not hitting.
[1351.8s] Yeah, that's okay.
[1352.6s] Anyways, he's gonna charge in
[1354.1s] and swing his short sword as well,
[1359.2s] and that's a 17 also at Flint.
[1364.4s] Fuck.
[1367.7s] All right.
[1368.6s] I mean, we were gonna have to fight a dragon, Russ,
[1370.5s] so like, it's fine.
[1372.9s] What are you guys doing in the closet?
[1375.2s] Are you guys just-
[1376.1s] A lot of air motions, like,
[1378.3s] I'm swinging a fake sword.
[1381.5s] Nobody should jump out, you're just gonna let Flint
[1384.7s] and Nulara and Laska take care of it.
[1386.6s] Oh, well, no, of course,
[1388.2s] once it gets to our initiative, whoever's-
[1390.1s] Delaine is up, this is why I'm asking.
[1391.9s] Oh, well-
[1392.9s] Well, hold on.
[1393.7s] Do you guys, talking about this
[1395.4s] as characters in the closet
[1396.7s] while the first part of the battle's going on,
[1399.2s] you see that they are destroying fucking everybody
[1402.7s] that's walking through these doors, and you're like-
[1405.4s] Are you hot?
[1406.2s] Should we, what?
[1408.8s] Wanna fool around a bit?
[1411.2s] Should we just let them, if it turns,
[1413.6s] maybe we go out and we help them,
[1415.0s] but maybe we just let them kind of clean house
[1417.3s] and then we help for after.
[1421.0s] Well, cause Nerenvane hasn't come in yet, right?
[1422.7s] These have all just been like schmoes.
[1424.8s] Well, yeah, this is like a human dude in armor.
[1426.9s] Yeah, we're just killing minions right now.
[1428.8s] I wouldn't be mad if they didn't come out.
[1430.5s] They can't know that, but I wouldn't be mad.
[1432.1s] Not to mention that they, like,
[1436.4s] maybe once it all dies down,
[1440.5s] then Theo whispers like,
[1441.9s] move the bodies out of the line of sight,
[1445.3s] cause no one's yelled out.
[1447.2s] No one's been like, hey, they're like,
[1450.8s] no one's sounded the alarm.
[1452.6s] No one's heard them.
[1453.5s] No one's heard them.
[1454.3s] No one's heard them.
[1455.2s] I've been killing them so fast.
[1456.0s] Exactly, no one's shouted out.
[1457.7s] So all of those people died in less than six seconds.
[1460.9s] So just put it that way.
[1462.2s] You guys are so bad ass.
[1463.8s] Cause we haven't even been
[1464.8s] through initiative order yet.
[1465.9s] Okay, I squeezed Delaine's bicep.
[1471.5s] We had a thing, don't you deny it?
[1474.3s] No, I said- Yeah.
[1476.2s] Thaddeus and Flamingons go find somewhere else.
[1478.4s] You ruined it, Russ, you ruined it.
[1481.2s] Guys, I think we should stay here
[1484.1s] and wait until Nerenvane comes in.
[1486.1s] They've got this.
[1488.5s] Yeah, they look like they got it.
[1489.4s] Maybe I'll just kind of look around
[1490.2s] and see if I can find anything else in here.
[1493.2s] Sure, yeah.
[1494.3s] I like to look around.
[1495.3s] Don't make any noise.
[1498.6s] Okay.
[1500.4s] It's my strong suit, you know.
[1503.6s] We need to be the surprise second attack.
[1507.4s] Okay, so let's say Delaine, Thaddeus and Flamingons
[1510.8s] and Thea, if you want to,
[1512.5s] are investigating this room
[1514.2s] to see if you can find everything, anything else.
[1516.0s] Sure, we're just running to-
[1516.8s] So everybody roll-
[1517.7s] It's personal stuff.
[1518.8s] Everybody in that room, roll an investigation check.
[1522.2s] Well, I got a one.
[1524.5s] But Thea's too busy looking at Delaine's ass.
[1527.1s] A 12 for Thaddeus.
[1529.2s] Flamingons gets a 17 plus.
[1535.2s] Whoa.
[1537.2s] Flamingons.
[1539.7s] Investigation minus one, 16.
[1542.8s] So in this time,
[1545.6s] you're just kind of looking around.
[1547.0s] I'll tell you what you find later.
[1548.6s] Nulara, you're up.
[1549.4s] Back to the top.
[1550.7s] Oh, okay.
[1551.7s] Guy is now through the door.
[1554.1s] That is 25 on that attack.
[1560.2s] Yep, that'll hit.
[1562.3s] 10 damage.
[1564.0s] Second attack is only a 16.
[1568.8s] He's pretty heavily armored.
[1570.4s] Probably doesn't hit, hey.
[1571.4s] 16 still hits.
[1572.6s] Oh, sweet.
[1573.6s] Not that heavily armored.
[1575.7s] Oh my God, this was almost the worst roll I could get.
[1579.0s] Almost.
[1579.8s] That is six damage.
[1581.6s] So we've experienced these-
[1582.5s] Two ones and a two.
[1583.8s] Almost the best damage.
[1584.6s] So I got almost the best.
[1585.5s] And almost the worst.
[1586.3s] And then almost the worst.
[1587.2s] Okay.
[1588.0s] Yeah, exactly.
[1588.8s] BAlydince.
[1589.7s] And then Donny only got a 13.
[1592.6s] That will not hit.
[1594.7s] What if he's going for the ear?
[1596.5s] He's wearing a helmet.
[1598.1s] But it has ear flaps
[1599.4s] and he left them open by mistake.
[1601.2s] Yeah.
[1602.6s] That's a 17.
[1606.8s] 17 will hit.
[1607.7s] Excellent.
[1610.0s] Oh, 22.
[1611.8s] Nice.
[1616.9s] Okay, math.
[1618.4s] I just stared at that number for far too long
[1620.4s] and it was an easy number too.
[1622.1s] If you could put in a long pause
[1623.7s] as you're editing into there,
[1624.6s] rest to make it seem like you really struggled with it.
[1630.2s] Okay.
[1631.0s] So you-
[1631.8s] Can I attack again?
[1632.7s] Oh, right.
[1633.5s] Yeah, you still get a fucking turn.
[1634.6s] Yeah, I do.
[1635.4s] But I got a 10.
[1636.3s] So I don't think that's gonna hit.
[1637.7s] No.
[1638.5s] Yes.
[1639.4s] Your cockiness just,
[1640.8s] you glance off after you take a huge chunk of it.
[1643.3s] The three I rolled
[1644.3s] isn't quite good enough to cut it.
[1646.1s] Yeah.
[1647.0s] So Laska doesn't use
[1651.0s] or recharge her cold breath.
[1653.4s] Maybe she does,
[1654.4s] but then she doesn't.
[1657.1s] Everybody's got theme songs tonight.
[1658.7s] I like this.
[1659.6s] Doesn't recharge your cold breath.
[1660.8s] But goes to bite the individual
[1665.2s] for a 13 and misses.
[1669.6s] You see the human
[1673.3s] right himself
[1674.6s] and look like he's focusing very hard
[1677.5s] on to Nulara.
[1680.8s] He gets to roll with fanatic advantage.
[1685.2s] He's a fan.
[1686.1s] He's a big fan of mine.
[1687.0s] Twice, twice-ly.
[1689.3s] Twice-ly?
[1691.1s] So for the first hit,
[1692.6s] that is an 18.
[1694.9s] Second time you've used the word twice-ly
[1696.5s] like it's really a word.
[1697.8s] It will be by the end of this.
[1699.0s] He's starting a movie.
[1699.9s] Second one is a 21.
[1702.3s] So an 18 and a 21.
[1704.0s] Those both hit.
[1705.0s] So we get 1d6 plus three piercing damage
[1708.8s] plus 2d6 poison damage
[1713.5s] plus 3d6 extra damage.
[1717.7s] Son of a bitch.
[1719.7s] 28 for the first strike.
[1721.4s] Oh.
[1722.2s] Fucking fuck.
[1723.4s] And he doesn't get the extra 3d6 on the second.
[1725.7s] Hooray.
[1727.8s] And then another seven damage.
[1732.2s] Holy son of a bitch.
[1733.5s] Five of which is poisonous.
[1735.9s] Fuck, dudes.
[1737.4s] So you guys are hiding in the closet
[1740.2s] and you're looking around
[1741.3s] and Flamikins Kins yells,
[1742.2s] Hey, hey girls.
[1744.0s] He yells at us.
[1744.8s] Flamikins Kins first yells
[1746.4s] and then corrects herself.
[1748.6s] She said, hey, oh, wait, shh.
[1750.5s] Hey, behind these, behind this statue,
[1753.2s] these eyes, these here,
[1754.9s] there's, it looks like there's a passageway
[1756.8s] to get in somewhere else.
[1759.4s] Okay, go check it out, girlfriend.
[1761.3s] She pokes her head through.
[1762.8s] She's like, there's a bunch of gold in here.
[1765.0s] We should go get it when we're dead.
[1766.9s] Shh.
[1768.4s] Okay, calm yourself.
[1770.9s] Okay, you guys doing anything else
[1772.0s] or you're just good?
[1773.0s] Okay, Nulara, you're up.
[1775.7s] Okay.
[1776.8s] The gentleman is not looking overly good.
[1780.0s] He's bleeding from like everywhere.
[1783.8s] Okay, so that is,
[1786.5s] why can't I just remember what my pluses are?
[1789.8s] That is a 19.
[1791.8s] Yep.
[1793.3s] That'll hit.
[1794.2s] I think we should all have songs like this tonight.
[1799.3s] 18 damage.
[1800.6s] Yeah.
[1801.8s] 18.
[1802.8s] So after this guy hurts you real bad,
[1807.4s] how do you kill this long lost lover of yours?
[1810.2s] I mean, I probably just chop his head off
[1811.8s] because it's all I ever want to do.
[1813.7s] I was gonna say, you guys love it.
[1815.1s] It's very dramatic.
[1816.3s] With a quick swift strike,
[1818.5s] you cleave his head off
[1820.0s] and the helmeted skull clangs to the ground
[1824.6s] and he is also dead.
[1827.1s] And the room, I would say is clear,
[1829.0s] but it's kind of a fucking mess.
[1831.2s] Like you guys really,
[1833.4s] you got to have the cleaning lady in or something.
[1835.8s] I am gonna do a healing surge.
[1838.9s] I don't want people to use spell slots to heal me
[1841.2s] because we're gonna need them for more fighting,
[1842.8s] but I'm down 50 hit points, so.
[1848.2s] Only half of that was the bad guys.
[1854.6s] I said, sorry, what do you want?
[1857.6s] Yeah, can we all zap out a healing surge or a rest?
[1861.8s] Yeah, it doesn't sound like anybody
[1864.0s] is coming immediately behind these guys,
[1865.9s] so you have a minute to collect yourselves
[1868.8s] and do whatever you decide you want to do.
[1870.5s] What is the healing surge again?
[1871.3s] I use one of my hit dice.
[1872.2s] One of your hit die.
[1876.2s] What are you guys doing?
[1877.0s] You don't hear anything coming from the way
[1879.8s] that these cultists members had come,
[1882.4s] which is kind of odd because you heard a dragon roar
[1885.2s] and kind of shake the walls.
[1888.0s] Flamikins told you there is a secret passageway
[1891.0s] in the closet, so let's pick up there.
[1894.1s] Guys, there's a thing back here.
[1896.8s] There's a whole bunch of like golden shit back here.
[1900.5s] Okay, well, let's look.
[1901.3s] Is it a secret passageway
[1903.0s] or like a closet in the closet full of gold?
[1906.1s] No, you look and it opens up into a much larger chamber
[1911.6s] that has piles of gold and goods
[1914.8s] all throughout the cavern.
[1918.3s] Guys, do you think this might be Kuth's treasure hoard?
[1922.7s] It could be.
[1923.7s] Seems like it.
[1924.7s] Is it big enough?
[1925.5s] Is it?
[1926.4s] Oh, it's definitely big enough in there
[1928.0s] that it could be what it is.
[1929.8s] You got that bag of holding?
[1931.1s] How much does it hold?
[1931.9s] Can we put all this treasure in there?
[1933.6s] I don't think we can.
[1935.8s] I mean, you could put a lot of it in there.
[1938.8s] Just remember to take it out at some undetermined time.
[1941.8s] Right, so bad.
[1944.8s] I mean, generally,
[1945.6s] we probably don't really need this gold.
[1947.0s] We mostly work in a socialist system
[1949.5s] where we don't really pay for a lot of things.
[1953.4s] What about like fun items and things
[1955.0s] that might be there though?
[1955.8s] Yeah, is there anything fun?
[1957.2s] Can I do a fun item search?
[1958.8s] Are you guys going into the room
[1960.7s] or are you just kind of looking from the door?
[1962.8s] Can we look for like traps and things on the way?
[1966.4s] Yeah, sure.
[1967.4s] So are you guys-
[1968.2s] Yeah, like how I just told Flamikins Kins
[1969.3s] to stick her head in there.
[1970.7s] Well, yeah, you're just-
[1971.9s] Yeah, no, I just need some golden shit.
[1973.7s] Like there's a little bit of a pool area,
[1976.2s] but doesn't look like there's any way in or out to me.
[1980.8s] So just a big treasure cavern.
[1983.1s] Like other than making the dragon mad,
[1985.6s] which it's already gonna be pretty mad that we're here.
[1988.3s] I don't know that-
[1990.2s] It's not gonna be thrilled.
[1991.4s] It's not gonna be excited
[1992.4s] that we just like massacred all those dudes.
[1996.0s] I like Tom's like look for cool stuff idea.
[1999.0s] And traps.
[2000.8s] Okay, let's look for cool shit.
[2002.4s] So this room is-
[2004.1s] And traps.
[2005.2s] Traps first.
[2006.1s] Fia's not poisoning anyone this time.
[2007.9s] Yeah, I know.
[2009.5s] Things have already been booby-trapped.
[2011.2s] I know.
[2012.0s] Fia doesn't even really wanna go in.
[2013.6s] Maybe Fia just waits outside.
[2015.0s] She's like-
[2015.8s] Fool me once.
[2017.4s] Exactly.
[2018.3s] So who's going in?
[2019.9s] I'll roll the like look for traps and shit
[2021.9s] before I go in.
[2022.8s] Oh yeah, for sure.
[2024.0s] Everybody can make an investigation check there.
[2027.0s] That is a 17 for Flint.
[2030.6s] That's a nine.
[2032.5s] Nine for Nulara.
[2033.9s] Yeah, Flint, you determine that you can see no traps
[2038.4s] in the doorway at the very least.
[2040.5s] You can't see much further investigating in
[2043.8s] without going into the room,
[2045.0s] but through the doorway,
[2046.1s] it looks like it's a clear shot.
[2048.5s] All right, let's run in with our eyes closed.
[2053.2s] Who is staying behind in the closet?
[2055.4s] I will stay behind.
[2058.0s] Ooh.
[2060.6s] I was gonna stay behind, but now it feels awkward.
[2063.4s] Third wheel.
[2064.7s] All right, I feel like Delaine is staying behind
[2067.0s] for reasons.
[2068.7s] Yep, smoochin' reasons.
[2070.7s] Delaine and Fia and Laska are staying behind
[2074.1s] in the closet, everyone else.
[2076.8s] Flemmingkins, Nulara, Thaddeus, and Flint.
[2079.8s] I'm gonna say cautiously walk in
[2081.4s] and roll an investigation check as you walk in there.
[2086.0s] 14 for Flint, and ooh, like a 21 for Thaddeus.
[2091.4s] Damn, I only got like a nine.
[2093.0s] Flemmingkins got 11.
[2095.8s] You walk in, and this room straight ahead
[2097.7s] is about 120 feet down, maybe about 150 feet wide,
[2101.9s] and it narrows at different points.
[2103.8s] It's a cave.
[2105.2s] There is a pool that is, as you walk in,
[2109.2s] opens up into what looks like a 75-foot span.
[2114.3s] You look through the treasure hoards
[2117.9s] and you see there's tons of gold and copper.
[2121.5s] As you're looking through,
[2123.4s] you catch the eye of different gold trade bars
[2126.9s] that Flint, you recognize, could be from Baldur's Gate
[2131.2s] and could be worth a pretty penny
[2132.6s] each in and of themselves.
[2134.6s] Flint, you also see, sticking up out
[2137.7s] of the treasure hoard, you see a heavy crossbow
[2142.8s] as well as a short bow on the other side of the room there.
[2146.0s] And Nularaaaia, you're caught by what looks
[2148.0s] like a shining globe mixed within the treasure.
[2152.8s] I'm gonna nab that crossbow
[2154.3s] because I think it'd be a good idea
[2155.7s] for me to have a ranged weapon at some point
[2157.8s] that isn't just a throwing axe.
[2159.5s] Yeah. Sure.
[2160.8s] You are crossing the room to retrieve this crossbow.
[2164.1s] Nularaaaia, are you looking at this globe at all, or are you?
[2167.2s] Sure, sure, why not?
[2168.8s] Okay, and you are walking over to the globe,
[2171.7s] which is, as you're looking,
[2174.0s] on the left side of the room, Flint,
[2175.4s] you're crossing the room. Okay.
[2177.1s] As you are crossing the room,
[2178.5s] you see a ripple in the water.
[2183.4s] And emerging from the water
[2185.2s] is a giant green dragon
[2189.8s] with a elven male sitting on its back.
[2194.6s] Fuck.
[2196.6s] Happy to be in the closet, motherfuckers.
[2198.7s] Peace. Peace.
[2200.6s] Again, this is me and Flint.
[2202.6s] Do-do-do.
[2203.9s] Starting with Flint and moving across
[2206.8s] to Nularaaaia and Thaddeus and Flamikins,
[2210.0s] the dragon lets forth its poison breath,
[2212.4s] and everyone must make a constitution saving throw
[2216.4s] in that area.
[2217.4s] Ooh, that's my good one.
[2221.1s] Yeah, 22 for Flint.
[2223.6s] 14.
[2226.1s] And a 20 for Thaddeus.
[2229.1s] Fuck.
[2231.3s] I'm taking a beating.
[2232.2s] And what for Flamikins?
[2233.9s] 15.
[2238.7s] That's not good.
[2240.0s] That's not good.
[2241.2s] You don't know what to say happy about it.
[2244.2s] I'm not happy about it, so to say.
[2246.7s] So Thaddeus and Flint, you take half damage.
[2250.3s] Half of a lot is still a lot.
[2252.1s] Nularaaaia and Flamikins, you take full damage,
[2256.2s] which is 56 poison damage.
[2258.7s] Oh my god.
[2260.8s] Holy shit.
[2262.1s] Glad I healed myself a million.
[2264.1s] So that's gonna be 28 for Thaddeus and Flint then.
[2268.1s] Ooh, fuck.
[2271.3s] Well, Flamikins is immediately down to seven.
[2274.4s] Seven hit points.
[2276.0s] Well, I'm down to 24 hit points,
[2278.0s] so I'm not looking so good either.
[2282.4s] Roll for initiative.
[2285.4s] Oh, good thing I got that real high initiative
[2287.1s] so I can just get like right in there.
[2290.4s] Uh, 10, 13.
[2294.1s] Flamikins gets a one, she gets a two.
[2296.9s] Thaddeus had a 19 and Flint with a 14.
[2302.6s] You are in what's called a dragon's lair.
[2307.4s] So there are lair actions that occur
[2312.1s] and one of those is gonna happen right now.
[2315.2s] We all get healed 20?
[2317.4s] I wish.
[2318.3s] What a nice dragon.
[2320.4s] Such a good dragon lair.
[2323.5s] Flint, beneath you grasping roots and vines erupt
[2328.2s] in a 20 foot radius centered immediately where you are
[2332.9s] and that area becomes difficult terrain
[2335.2s] and you must succeed a strength saving throw
[2339.6s] or be restrained by roots and vines.
[2343.9s] Well, strength is a real, real good one.
[2345.8s] So plus four bonus 18.
[2348.9s] Okay, so you are not immediately restrained
[2351.8s] but it is difficult terrain.
[2354.4s] So that's half speed if I am trying to move through it.
[2356.5s] So that is half speed and you have 20 feet
[2359.6s] to go to get out of this vine area.
[2364.2s] Thaddeus is up.
[2366.4s] Thaddeus, Nularaaaa and Flamikins are closer
[2369.9s] to where the secret entrance door was.
[2373.0s] The dragon is now in between where those guys are
[2377.6s] and where Flint is.
[2379.5s] So kind of in the center of the room
[2380.3s] and Flint is more towards the back of the room
[2382.0s] from where that secret chamber is.
[2385.2s] Okay, so how far away is Flint?
[2387.8s] So you're about 50 feet from the dragon.
[2390.9s] Okay, Thaddeus is going to call upon his god,
[2397.2s] Tyr, the god of justice.
[2399.7s] He's gonna call upon him
[2400.9s] to get some fucking mass healing word going
[2404.6s] but he's gonna cast it at a fifth level spell slot.
[2407.0s] So it's a couple extra D4s
[2410.3s] that up to six targets within 60 feet will be healed.
[2415.1s] And so that's everybody I wanna be healed.
[2418.0s] So that being said, so it's a fifth level
[2423.1s] so that's gonna be three D4 for everybody
[2426.1s] plus spell casting ability.
[2428.5s] So that's 15 points, everybody's getting back.
[2431.3s] Yay.
[2432.8s] So after taking a large chunk of poison damage,
[2437.4s] Thaddeus' hands and eyes glow
[2440.2s] as he mutters his incantation
[2442.6s] and everybody feels a little bit rejuvenated.
[2446.4s] You mean people in the closet?
[2448.0s] No, you guys are within?
[2449.8s] No, you have to be within,
[2451.4s] no, they'd be outside of the range.
[2453.6s] That's what I thought, okay.
[2455.0s] But everybody in the room should be able to.
[2458.4s] Yeah, so Flamikins, Flint, Thaddeus, and Nularaaaa.
[2462.6s] Yeah, yep.
[2464.0s] So it's a dragon's turn.
[2467.3s] Yay.
[2468.8s] And he recharges his poison breath.
[2471.4s] Of course he does.
[2472.3s] And he turns and points at Flint
[2475.1s] who is trapped in his vines
[2478.0s] and he lets forth his poison breath.
[2481.0s] Bring it.
[2481.9s] All on top of Flint.
[2483.4s] So you need to make that.
[2484.2s] I can roll another con save, I can do it.
[2486.2s] Constitution saving throw.
[2489.2s] That is a 16.
[2493.0s] You take 56 poison damage.
[2497.2s] Oh my God.
[2499.0s] Ugh, all right.
[2501.7s] Nerenvane jumps off of his back
[2504.2s] and Cuth flies up to the wall
[2506.9s] and he lets forth an enormous roar
[2509.9s] inside of this chamber and the walls shake
[2513.6s] and you feel a warmth.
[2518.8s] Do we just pee?
[2522.7s] Did we just wet ourselves?
[2523.9s] Everyone pees.
[2525.5s] No, you feel a warmth coming from the garland
[2529.6s] around your neck.
[2532.8s] And you feel like you should be afraid at this moment
[2536.0s] but you have dodged the frightful presence
[2539.5s] of this dragon.
[2540.6s] However, Delane and Laska did not have those.
[2544.7s] Delane and Laska aren't even in the cave.
[2547.7s] The cave.
[2550.0s] If we weren't in range to get-
[2551.6s] Within 120 feet.
[2552.9s] Oh shit.
[2553.8s] Yeah, so they are within range.
[2556.2s] So Delane is not afraid but Laska wets herself.
[2561.5s] Aw.
[2562.3s] And backs away so she can no longer move
[2565.0s] towards the dragon until she saves
[2570.2s] that wisdom saving throw.
[2573.0s] Delane's turn.
[2575.1s] Delane steps out of the secret closet area
[2579.2s] and takes aim at the dragon and loses his longbow.
[2585.2s] He hits with his longbow.
[2588.6s] As a bonus action, the archer can add 1d10
[2592.8s] to its next damage roll with the longbow or shortbow
[2595.2s] so he's probably gonna do that.
[2596.4s] I bet he would.
[2597.2s] He's a smart guy that Delane.
[2598.1s] He's a smart cookie, smart cookie that Delane.
[2600.8s] So he gets 1d8 plus four and 1d10.
[2605.0s] So that is 20 piercing damage directly into the dragon.
[2610.1s] He's gonna do that again.
[2611.2s] So that's 19.
[2612.1s] That will also hit.
[2614.2s] So that is seven more damage.
[2617.7s] Flint, you're up.
[2619.2s] And Flint, just make a d20 roll for me.
[2624.4s] Great.
[2626.1s] That's a eight.
[2627.9s] Okay, you're good.
[2628.8s] So you can take your turn now.
[2630.6s] Oh, all right.
[2631.4s] Well, that's nice to know.
[2633.6s] I guess I'm slow going out of these weeds I'm in, hey?
[2638.8s] Yeah, so your speed is halved.
[2640.1s] So you got 20 feet to cover.
[2641.9s] So I think you're, you got a 30 foot.
[2644.5s] So you can only get 15 feet through these weeds.
[2646.6s] I actually have a 25.
[2648.3s] Thank you for noticing.
[2649.4s] You can only, sorry, fair enough.
[2652.8s] I will go 12 and a half feet
[2654.6s] through these vines and everything.
[2656.6s] Nice.
[2657.7s] I will take a healing surge because, uh-huh.
[2662.5s] Yep.
[2664.4s] Makes sense.
[2665.3s] So that's eight.
[2666.1s] Oh, plus my con.
[2667.0s] So that's 12 hit points back.
[2668.7s] Excellent.
[2670.9s] And I'm also going to use my second wind skill,
[2674.6s] which gives me a 1d10 plus my level bonus
[2677.6s] as another healing factor.
[2681.1s] So that's another 17.
[2682.7s] 17 heals, okay.
[2684.0s] Yep, so I've got some hit points back.
[2685.7s] I'm three quarters of the way through the vines.
[2688.9s] Oh, I guess I could like throw an axe at him, eh?
[2691.8s] There's vaulted ceiling, 60 feet high.
[2693.8s] So as long as you can throw at 60 feet
[2696.0s] plus another probably 20 feet, you're probably good.
[2699.5s] I can throw at 60 feet,
[2701.4s] but how about that fancy crossbow I picked up?
[2703.4s] Is that an option?
[2704.8s] Yeah, you could do that.
[2705.8s] I can give you some stats on that.
[2709.4s] Yeah, it'll be whatever your attack roll is.
[2713.3s] Okay.
[2714.2s] Plus your proficiency, plus your dexterity.
[2719.4s] Okay, so plus five.
[2721.3s] Got it.
[2722.9s] It's a 17.
[2724.1s] 17 misses, unfortunately.
[2726.6s] But if you were to hit,
[2728.2s] it would be 1d10 plus your dexterity,
[2732.2s] plus your proficiency.
[2733.4s] Okay.
[2734.3s] So 1d10 plus five.
[2735.8s] Got it.
[2736.8s] Guys, 17 doesn't hit, keep that in mind.
[2740.0s] New Laura.
[2741.5s] Where's Narenvane just like chilling on the shore?
[2743.7s] He's near the pond, which is, or the lake rather,
[2748.9s] which is from where you are.
[2751.4s] Probably 75 feet from you.
[2752.8s] Well, that's too far, come on.
[2755.1s] Yeah, I know.
[2756.9s] Okay, as a bonus action,
[2760.4s] I'm gonna cast Hunter's Mark on Narenvane,
[2764.0s] which just gives me an extra d6 damage
[2768.1s] if I hit him until he's dead,
[2770.8s] and then I can give it to someone else.
[2773.0s] Yep.
[2775.5s] And I guess I am going to try to hit him
[2779.3s] with my light crossbow.
[2783.5s] That is a 10, so that will not do it.
[2786.6s] No.
[2787.4s] And that is a nine, so that will not do it either.
[2791.7s] Also won't do it.
[2793.3s] Oh, I guess Donnie's gonna bite him.
[2795.4s] He's not probably, but.
[2797.4s] Nope, Donnie does not bite him, so that is a six.
[2801.2s] Okay.
[2802.0s] It's just I'm hurt, guys, I'm sorry.
[2803.8s] It's understandable.
[2804.9s] Do you move anywhere?
[2806.1s] Do you do anything?
[2807.5s] Where?
[2808.4s] As leadingly.
[2809.8s] Yeah.
[2810.7s] Yeah.
[2813.5s] I think, cause I had started walking towards that orb,
[2816.3s] like where am I even?
[2817.7s] Like in the middle of the cave?
[2819.9s] So you've walked through the secret door,
[2821.8s] the pond would be to your,
[2823.2s] or the lake shore would be to your left or your right,
[2826.6s] and you have gone to the left.
[2828.2s] So you are about 45 feet from the secret room
[2834.2s] and about 15 or 20 feet from this globe that you saw.
[2841.5s] Okay, I wanna walk to the globe.
[2843.2s] You walk to the globe and you pick it up
[2845.4s] and you sense that it has some magical properties,
[2848.7s] but you can't quite tell what they are at this moment.
[2853.2s] Okay.
[2854.4s] Well, I'll put it in my pocket.
[2857.7s] Hey, Thea, you're up.
[2859.4s] Huh.
[2861.5s] She says that she's cowering in the closet.
[2864.7s] Okay, well, Thea's gonna get her ass in there.
[2868.1s] How far is Nerenvame from me?
[2871.8s] So you have just entered the room?
[2873.8s] Yeah.
[2874.6s] 60 feet.
[2875.5s] Nice, I'm gonna stay at the entrance.
[2878.0s] Not moving any closer,
[2879.7s] but I am going to conjure Moonbeam.
[2883.1s] So I am going to conjure it at my fourth level spell
[2888.8s] slot, which is going to make this thing 4d10 damage,
[2895.7s] but you must make a constitution saving throw.
[2898.3s] It's 21.
[2899.3s] Fuck him, well, he will take half of my damage.
[2901.6s] 27.
[2903.2s] Half.
[2904.0s] So he can take 13 of my damage.
[2906.2s] Yeah, your Moonbeam erupts in the chamber.
[2913.2s] Why is everything erupting in the chamber?
[2915.1s] What is with the bed that never gets dirty?
[2917.4s] Everything's erupting in this chamber.
[2919.5s] What is happening?
[2923.0s] Yeah, your Moonbeam comes to light.
[2924.6s] Wait, does the song Eruption by Van Halen play?
[2927.4s] Absolutely.
[2928.3s] If it does, get out of here.
[2930.6s] It just says shines down.
[2932.3s] You could also say the same thing.
[2933.7s] The Moonlight shines down upon him
[2936.9s] and lets forth a glow of glistening light
[2939.7s] across the pond.
[2942.2s] And everybody is quite happy except Nerenvame,
[2945.9s] who took some damage, damn it.
[2948.0s] And it's Nerenvame's turn.
[2949.8s] I'm hoping if we kill him, the dragon will go away,
[2951.9s] like the dragon's under his spell or something.
[2954.6s] You would think.
[2956.8s] Wishful thinking.
[2957.8s] It's Nerenvame's turn.
[2959.8s] Yay.
[2960.6s] Yay, let's see what he's all about.
[2963.2s] He doesn't like that.
[2964.7s] We know your dad, he's really disappointed in you.
[2969.7s] Do you actually yell that?
[2970.9s] Yeah, yell it.
[2971.9s] My father doesn't know what's coming to him
[2974.1s] and he lets forth an eldritch arrow
[2977.1s] after he moves out of the moonbeam.
[2978.9s] He moves out of it.
[2979.9s] Oh, does he?
[2980.8s] He walks to the side a little bit,
[2981.9s] just a step to the left.
[2983.8s] Just a little shimmy step.
[2985.3s] And then a jump to the right?
[2986.1s] Or a jump to the right?
[2987.0s] No, he doesn't jump to the right.
[2988.2s] He jumps further to the left.
[2989.1s] Because then he jumps back into it?
[2990.2s] Yeah.
[2991.4s] And lets forth an eldritch arrow towards Thea.
[2996.5s] That might not do it.
[2998.8s] He gets two of those, but that's only a 12.
[3002.2s] No, that doesn't do it.
[3004.7s] That's a 15.
[3005.5s] That also doesn't do it.
[3006.5s] So, but he's busy dancing
[3009.0s] and out of his hands come two luminous arrows
[3014.2s] that kind of one whizzes by you
[3018.2s] and one glints off of your armor.
[3021.3s] Well, it's his own fault
[3022.4s] for forgetting how to do the time warp properly.
[3024.4s] Yeah.
[3025.4s] Right?
[3027.0s] I'm sorry.
[3027.8s] He took too many steps to the left.
[3028.6s] Laska's turn who has to make,
[3031.5s] who cannot move towards the dragon.
[3034.6s] So Laska actually at the end of Laska's turn
[3038.8s] makes the saving throw.
[3040.4s] So Laska's next turn,
[3042.0s] she will be able to go into the chamber.
[3046.0s] Flamikins.
[3047.6s] Yeah, okay.
[3049.2s] Flamikins is gonna do this.
[3052.0s] Flamikins is going to conjure,
[3054.3s] or I guess conjure an abjuration.
[3056.8s] She's gonna abjure Maximillian's earthen grasp.
[3062.3s] So she's creating a miniature hand sculpted from clay.
[3066.2s] It's what she's got.
[3067.1s] She has it in her pocket
[3068.4s] because she's prepared like that.
[3070.8s] And she's always been prepared.
[3072.5s] Yes.
[3073.3s] She is going to, and this is what this does.
[3076.4s] She chooses the five foot square upon,
[3079.6s] it says unoccupied space on the ground
[3081.5s] that you can see within range.
[3084.8s] Oh, the target.
[3086.9s] I think it means unoccupied, not unoccupied.
[3090.6s] Yeah, it reaches for the creature beside it.
[3093.8s] So it has to be unoccupied
[3095.6s] because then this hand grabs at whoever you try to get.
[3097.8s] Well, she chooses five feet next to Nerenvang.
[3100.9s] Nerenvang. Okay.
[3102.8s] The target must make a strength saving throw.
[3104.9s] And on a failed save,
[3106.0s] the target takes 2d6 bludgeoning damage.
[3109.4s] And as an action,
[3110.5s] you can cause the hand to crush the restrained target.
[3114.4s] Sweet.
[3115.5s] Sorry, what type of strength?
[3116.7s] Strength.
[3117.6s] Hate that guy.
[3118.4s] That's his best.
[3120.8s] It's not his best.
[3121.7s] That's a 16.
[3123.1s] Against her.
[3125.7s] 16.
[3126.5s] If it meets the beats.
[3127.5s] All right.
[3128.3s] Well, it takes 2d6.
[3131.6s] You got the flame again.
[3132.4s] Six, four, 10 damage.
[3135.2s] So. Five.
[3136.4s] Five damage.
[3138.1s] So he's not restrained.
[3139.7s] He's not restrained.
[3141.4s] And then he steps to the left again.
[3144.2s] No, he doesn't.
[3145.1s] He's in the water now.
[3146.4s] He's just treading water and not going.
[3150.0s] He's like off.
[3150.8s] I'll get this, don't worry.
[3152.3s] He's like mad about it now
[3153.9s] because he's just not paying attention.
[3155.1s] Yeah.
[3156.3s] You see the dragon's eyes glow
[3159.0s] and starting from where the entrance
[3163.4s] to the secret area is,
[3165.6s] all the way to just about where Nulara is,
[3171.1s] cutting directly on top of
[3174.3s] everybody in that area,
[3175.8s] which is Thea, Delaine,
[3178.2s] who are standing at the entrance.
[3180.7s] Flamekin's Thaddeus.
[3182.6s] Not Nulara because she's outside the range.
[3185.5s] A wall of tangled brush bristling with thorns
[3188.9s] springs into existence.
[3190.9s] And the wall is 60 feet long, 10 feet high,
[3194.3s] and five feet thick.
[3196.6s] It appears on top of those people.
[3200.0s] And each of those people
[3201.2s] must make a dexterity saving throw.
[3203.5s] Is that a 20?
[3206.4s] Flamekin's too?
[3208.0s] Yeah.
[3208.8s] That is a 20, but not critical for Thaddeus.
[3211.4s] Okay, it was a 15 for Flamekin's
[3213.7s] and nat 20 for me.
[3215.2s] Way to waste a nat 20.
[3216.8s] Brr, brr, brr, brr, brr, brr, brr.
[3219.2s] So everybody saves, but.
[3222.7s] There's always a but.
[3223.9s] There's always a but.
[3225.0s] You guys are pushed five feet from the wall
[3227.7s] as it comes into existence.
[3230.3s] So Thaddeus and Flamekin's
[3234.0s] are on the Narenvane side.
[3237.4s] Thea and Delaine are on the secret door side.
[3241.3s] Well, we did all we could.
[3243.2s] Ha ha ha ha.
[3245.3s] Good luck you guys.
[3247.3s] Thaddeus is up.
[3249.4s] All right.
[3250.5s] What to do, what to do?
[3253.1s] And where is Narenvane standing?
[3255.1s] Paint the picture for me where he is.
[3256.9s] Okay, so Thaddeus is on the Narenvane side
[3260.6s] of this bristling bush.
[3263.2s] And he sees there's a moonbeam
[3266.8s] kinda centered on the edge of this lake.
[3270.3s] And Narenvane is about five feet
[3273.4s] to the left of that at this point.
[3276.6s] And the earthen hand is right behind him
[3279.6s] or beside him?
[3280.7s] But I'm gonna say it's like directly beside him.
[3284.2s] Okay.
[3285.2s] And Thaddeus is 35 feet from him at this point.
[3291.4s] Excellent.
[3294.5s] And is there like water on any side of him?
[3297.0s] Like where can Narenvane go?
[3298.2s] There's water directly behind him.
[3300.9s] He can go forward towards Thaddeus
[3303.5s] or forward left or forward and right.
[3305.8s] Or directly back into the water if he's so desired.
[3309.1s] If that would be a weird choice, but.
[3311.4s] Sometimes he's gotta go for a swim.
[3313.4s] I mean, he just came up through the water, right?
[3315.7s] That's true.
[3316.7s] He's all wet. It's probably getting chilly.
[3318.0s] I'm gonna take a play from the Rust playbook
[3320.4s] in our Patreon game and cast Cloud of Daggers.
[3323.5s] Ooh, that's fun.
[3325.3s] Right in front of him,
[3326.4s] but also in between the moonbeam and the earthen hand.
[3329.6s] Yeah, you will.
[3330.8s] And also touching him.
[3332.1s] So it's hitting him,
[3333.6s] but also just in front of him as well.
[3335.6s] Sure, yeah.
[3337.0s] Okay, and I'm going to cast it at a,
[3340.4s] let's say fifth level spell slot.
[3342.8s] So it's just raining daggers.
[3344.4s] I'm gonna add a whole bunch of damage
[3346.6s] or at least as much as I can.
[3348.2s] So it's going to be 10d4, I do believe.
[3355.9s] Yeah, cause it's, well, it's 4d4 to start, right?
[3359.0s] And then 2d4 every level up and it's three levels up.
[3361.8s] So yeah, it should be 10d4 damage.
[3364.0s] Yep.
[3364.8s] I should have grabbed more d4s.
[3366.4s] Yeah.
[3368.6s] All right, here we go.
[3370.0s] So that's 29 points of damage on your camera.
[3374.8s] Yay, cloud of dagger.
[3378.6s] So there's a hand to the left of him,
[3381.9s] a moonbeam to the right and directly in front of him,
[3385.8s] this cloud of daggers with, it's like a blender.
[3388.8s] It's just churning up right on top of him,
[3391.3s] which is how Opal feels like it should work
[3393.2s] every goddamn fucking time.
[3394.6s] Every goddamn time.
[3396.9s] And just eviscerates his face.
[3401.0s] How can you eviscerate someone's face?
[3403.1s] Doesn't he need viscera?
[3405.6s] What's eviscerate?
[3406.6s] It means your guts come out through his face.
[3409.2s] Through his face, it just-
[3410.7s] It's really bad.
[3412.0s] It's bad.
[3412.8s] It's really bad.
[3413.6s] Yeah, it's-
[3414.5s] If his face had guts, they're out.
[3416.4s] They're out.
[3417.2s] So he is not looking super happy about that.
[3421.2s] We can't even tell though.
[3422.4s] He could look happy, but his face is gone.
[3424.7s] His face is off.
[3427.8s] Cuthsturn.
[3429.9s] Oh, is it?
[3431.4s] Oh, and he recharged.
[3433.4s] How many turns does Cuth get?
[3435.6s] This guy.
[3436.4s] He gets one per piece.
[3438.6s] He's exhausting me.
[3439.6s] Too many.
[3442.7s] This dragon, I tell ya.
[3444.9s] We haven't even tried to do anything
[3446.4s] and had to deal with his legendary resistance bullshit.
[3449.2s] I know better than to try to control him.
[3451.3s] Yeah.
[3453.0s] So Cuth hops down and eyes up Nulara.
[3459.7s] And- Of course he does.
[3460.8s] In a line directly-
[3463.1s] You feeling objectified this time?
[3465.5s] Cause I feel like many people are eyeing you up.
[3468.8s] Lands pretty much in front of you.
[3471.3s] And from a line from you all the way back
[3473.8s] to Thea and Delaine lets forth his poison breath again.
[3478.2s] Fuck.
[3479.2s] And everybody's got to make a saving throw
[3481.6s] of the constitution variety.
[3483.3s] Shootin' for her, shootin' for her.
[3484.7s] She got to shoot high.
[3485.6s] Shoot for eight.
[3486.4s] Make it more than 15 or whatever
[3488.0s] that's been rolled and failed.
[3490.0s] So yeah.
[3490.8s] Well, Nulara got a nine
[3492.0s] so it's not looking good for her.
[3494.5s] Thea got an eight, however.
[3496.6s] Nulara, aren't dragons like your favorite enemy
[3500.4s] or some bullshit?
[3501.2s] They are, but all that gets me,
[3502.2s] look at, I already have the book out
[3504.5s] cause I was like, I'm dying.
[3508.0s] But all it gets me is advantage
[3509.7s] on wisdom checks and intelligence checks
[3516.0s] for info about them.
[3517.8s] And I learned to speak draconic as well.
[3520.0s] I need to get lucky.
[3523.0s] I thought that's what happened in the closet.
[3526.3s] No, I'm going to use my inexplicable luck
[3528.9s] that is kicking in at just the right time
[3533.6s] to do the saving throw again
[3537.7s] to roll an additional d20.
[3540.8s] Okay.
[3541.6s] You can choose to spend one of your luck points
[3543.4s] after you rolled a die,
[3545.0s] but before the outcome is determined.
[3546.8s] Well, yeah, I know what the outcome is though.
[3553.0s] Okay, that's a 19.
[3555.3s] Okay, so Thea and Delaine save.
[3559.4s] Sorry.
[3560.7s] I'm sorry, Nulara.
[3561.5s] What is it, 56?
[3562.8s] Is it always 56?
[3564.3s] So here's the thing.
[3565.9s] I can give you 56 or I can roll the 16 d6
[3572.3s] and you can hope for all ones.
[3574.4s] Well, that's fine.
[3575.9s] I'm going to die anyway, so it doesn't matter.
[3578.5s] Let's save the math.
[3580.3s] Okay, so 56.
[3581.8s] So half of that for you and Delaine, which is 28.
[3587.8s] Hey friends, I'm dead.
[3589.9s] Uh-oh, Nulara, are you okay over there?
[3596.9s] Oops.
[3598.7s] Hey there.
[3599.6s] I'm your dungeon master, Russ More.
[3601.0s] Thank you for joining us for episode 38
[3603.0s] of Dumbgeons and Dragons titled A Cloud of Noxious Gas.
[3607.3s] It's not looking good for some.
[3609.2s] Thank you.
[3610.4s] Yes, you.
[3612.1s] Thank you for listening to Dumbgeons and Dragons
[3614.7s] in our wild and crazy,
[3617.2s] and sometimes funny stories we have going on here.
[3619.6s] I don't think I thank you enough lately,
[3622.0s] but we've seen huge downloads recently.
[3624.3s] So many new people are coming on.
[3626.6s] The Spotify numbers have been just crushing it.
[3629.0s] So if you're listening over there,
[3630.1s] thank you for joining us.
[3631.4s] We actually just passed 15,000 downloads this past week
[3634.6s] and are over the moon excited about that.
[3636.8s] So thank you for joining us
[3638.6s] and sharing us with your friends
[3639.9s] and helping get the word out
[3642.2s] that we're doing something fun and worth listening to.
[3645.0s] Another way you can support us as always,
[3646.5s] and as we mentioned off the top,
[3648.2s] is by joining our Patreon community
[3649.9s] at Patreon.com slash dumbdragoncast.
[3652.8s] We just had our Patreon exclusive goog hang last night
[3655.5s] as this episode is released,
[3656.9s] and it was a blast talking with everyone.
[3658.8s] It always is.
[3659.6s] And we want to see you there too.
[3661.4s] Supporting us on Patreon makes the show better
[3663.0s] with each episode and allows us to do new
[3664.9s] and cool things for you for supporting us
[3668.2s] and joining our community.
[3669.6s] We hope you'll check it out
[3670.6s] and join us on the road to adventure.
[3672.0s] Patreon is a platform where you can find
[3674.8s] Patreon.com slash dumbdragoncast.
[3677.9s] Oh, and one final thanks to Syrinscape
[3680.2s] for some of the amazing atmosphere
[3681.9s] and music in this episode today.
[3683.7s] Make sure you check them out at syrinscape.com
[3686.0s] to bring your games to life.
[3687.6s] The next episode will be out back on regular schedule
[3689.6s] in a couple of weeks, May 9th,
[3691.1s] but we've kind of left our heroes
[3693.2s] in a bit of a sticky situation.
[3694.6s] So let's go see what happens next.
[3697.6s] Hope it's okay.
[3698.9s] Have a great couple of weeks.
[3700.2s] We'll talk soon.
[3702.0s] Hey friends, I'm dead.
[3705.0s] All right. Great. Great stuff.
[3707.8s] New Laura drops to the ground.
[3710.8s] I call New Laura.
[3715.8s] Avenge me, I say as I fall.
[3719.8s] I will, maybe.
[3722.8s] I'm not very reliable.
[3725.8s] A question for Amy.
[3729.8s] A question for Amy.
[3732.8s] Is this feather fan that you gave me
[3735.1s] that has glass bobbles and is bedazzled?
[3738.7s] Does it do anything like amazing
[3740.7s] that you didn't tell me about at the time?
[3742.9s] Because now would be a really good time
[3744.7s] for it to do something amazing.
[3746.0s] It waves away poison breath.
[3752.4s] Actually, inside each of those bobbles
[3759.4s] I have cast a spell on them at the time
[3766.4s] that they are each healing that heal you for one D8.
[3771.0s] And there are eight levels on your fan.
[3773.1s] You just made those bullshit up
[3774.6s] and you came up with a D8?
[3776.8s] Well, I needed it to be not outlandish.
[3779.2s] It needed to seem realistic.
[3782.2s] Remember Solstice?
[3784.0s] It was such a magical time.
[3785.6s] It was so magical.
[3786.9s] We were all alive.
[3788.4s] It was great.
[3789.2s] I love the fact that maybe on Flint's turn
[3791.2s] he might pull out this fan and be like...
[3795.7s] I'm not going to lie.
[3796.6s] I'm thinking about it
[3797.4s] because I don't have a lot of other options.
[3801.4s] So write that down.
[3802.9s] Eight D8 magic.
[3804.8s] Okay, so Cuth lets forth his poison breath.
[3809.0s] Nulara, you see drop to the ground.
[3812.0s] Delaine and Thea take some damage
[3814.5s] and Cuth flies up to the ceiling
[3817.8s] and grasps on with his claws.
[3820.2s] You got to make a saving throw
[3821.2s] to see if you keep your moonbeam.
[3823.1s] I only got 11.
[3825.3s] Yeah, you didn't make it.
[3826.8s] Okay, that's all right.
[3828.0s] So the moonbeam is gone.
[3829.1s] It is now Delaine's turn.
[3831.5s] And he is going to...
[3832.3s] I grab his arm and I say, kill him for me.
[3834.9s] He's going to load his bow with an arrow.
[3839.2s] Can I hand him my arrow?
[3840.7s] Your dragon killing arrow?
[3842.2s] I pass him one of my dragon arrows.
[3845.2s] Can I do that?
[3846.3s] Yeah, you can do that.
[3847.7s] He loads his bow with an arrow of dragon slaying.
[3853.6s] He kind of looks at it and is like,
[3855.1s] no, I got bows, but oh.
[3857.4s] No, no, this one.
[3858.9s] For luck.
[3860.6s] Also, it murders dragon.
[3861.9s] I was going to say, maybe you can just tell him.
[3863.4s] You don't have to be coy about it.
[3865.3s] Well, I feel like everything's happening very fast.
[3867.4s] Don't fucking question me.
[3868.8s] I just thrust it into his hand.
[3871.2s] He lets loose
[3872.8s] and he hits with a 24.
[3876.2s] Sinks this arrow directly into the back of Kuth.
[3880.0s] So he gets one D8 plus four and then the D10.
[3883.7s] Arrow is a dragon slaying.
[3884.7s] So it has to make a constitution saving throw.
[3887.8s] Which obviously it passes
[3889.1s] because of legendary resistance.
[3891.8s] But it takes an extra six D10 piercing damage
[3895.0s] on a failed save or half as much on a successful.
[3898.8s] Okay, so first damage.
[3901.0s] 17 damage from his initial hit.
[3905.3s] Then six D10 or I have to make a constitution saving throw.
[3909.9s] Which he's gonna, legendary resistance save.
[3912.6s] But I still have to roll.
[3914.1s] Sorry, I'm trying to help.
[3917.0s] One, two, three, four, five, six.
[3922.0s] Six D10s, those are all D10s.
[3925.0s] None of them are D8s.
[3927.9s] Okay, so that's 42.
[3930.9s] Halved, so 21 extra damage.
[3934.4s] And lets forth a bellowing roar and does not like that.
[3938.6s] But he loads another arrow
[3940.0s] and he's like, you got another one of those?
[3942.0s] Yeah, I hand him my second one, my last one.
[3945.0s] And does it again.
[3947.7s] But it glances off.
[3950.1s] The second arrow glances off its scales
[3952.8s] and falls to the ground a ways.
[3955.6s] Near me?
[3956.4s] A ways.
[3957.3s] It's kind of in the middle of the room.
[3959.1s] Not near Flint.
[3960.1s] Kind of near Flint though?
[3961.9s] Yeah, not exactly near Flint.
[3964.6s] So Cuth is going to use one of his legendary actions.
[3969.0s] And he's going to wing attack both Thea and Delaine.
[3973.8s] So he-
[3974.7s] But I have my shield.
[3975.5s] Yeah, you do.
[3976.5s] So you're fine.
[3977.3s] You gotta make a saving throw.
[3979.7s] So the dragon releases from the ceiling
[3983.1s] and beats its wings together towards Delaine and Thea.
[3986.4s] And you each must make a dexterity saving throw.
[3989.9s] Do some sick flips.
[3992.5s] 13.
[3994.5s] Well, there's that wall of weeds.
[3996.0s] It's not your fault.
[3996.9s] Delaine gets a 20.
[3998.4s] So that's 18 bludgeoning damage.
[4002.6s] And you are knocked prone
[4005.0s] and it flies back up to the ceiling.
[4010.0s] It's Flint's turn.
[4012.6s] All right.
[4014.1s] So I'm still in the weeds.
[4015.6s] There's a dragon on the roof.
[4017.6s] And where's Nerenvain?
[4019.2s] Nerenvain is on the, from you,
[4021.2s] would be the opposite side
[4022.8s] of where the moonbeam previously was.
[4024.8s] All sliced up.
[4026.1s] And you still have seven and a half feet
[4030.3s] of vines to get through.
[4032.4s] Right.
[4035.1s] Okay, well, yeah,
[4035.9s] I might as well get through all those vines.
[4038.2s] Yeah, so you move 15
[4039.8s] and I've got an extra 10 feet to go somewhere.
[4042.2s] Get your fan out.
[4043.1s] Yep.
[4044.6s] Get the fan out.
[4046.4s] I keep telling you, what the fan.
[4048.7s] So you are approximately from where you are,
[4051.6s] you are approximately 45 feet
[4053.9s] from Nerenvain at this point.
[4055.4s] Okay.
[4056.2s] How far to that dragon arrow out of curiosity?
[4059.1s] The dragon arrow would have gone,
[4061.8s] would have gone.
[4064.1s] I'm doing a little vector math here.
[4066.9s] You are probably 30 feet from the dragon arrow.
[4070.0s] It would be more to your right
[4071.4s] and to the back wall there.
[4074.1s] Okay.
[4075.6s] So yeah, I'm going to use my last 10 feet
[4079.4s] of movement to go 10 feet towards that arrow.
[4081.1s] Okay.
[4082.2s] And I'm going to use that crossbow that I have
[4085.4s] because I'm not close to anything
[4087.8s] and I'm going to shoot at Nerenvain with it.
[4090.0s] Sure.
[4091.5s] Hopefully you hit him into like the hands or the.
[4094.8s] That would be nice.
[4096.3s] Yeah.
[4097.1s] We're going to find out.
[4098.0s] So that is a 17 on the first one.
[4100.3s] Hits.
[4101.5s] And what did you say, one D10 plus five?
[4104.7s] One D10 plus five.
[4107.1s] Okay.
[4108.2s] So that's seven.
[4109.0s] So 12 damage.
[4110.8s] Okay.
[4111.6s] And I'll take a second shot at him.
[4114.7s] And that is a 17 again.
[4117.0s] Sweet. Yep.
[4119.5s] And this one.
[4120.9s] Oh, wait a minute.
[4122.8s] Let me just read something here.
[4124.0s] Hang on.
[4124.8s] Hang on.
[4125.6s] Hang on.
[4127.8s] Oh no, that's only with great weapons.
[4129.2s] Okay.
[4130.0s] Two and five.
[4130.9s] So seven damage.
[4133.5s] Yeah.
[4134.4s] The first one strikes true deep into Nerenvain's shoulder.
[4138.8s] The other one glances off of his arm.
[4142.2s] He makes an Elven scream.
[4144.8s] How do Elves scream?
[4150.2s] I believe they would scream.
[4151.0s] That sounds like someone.
[4151.9s] Like any man would scream.
[4153.5s] Yeah, that sounds like someone would scream like that
[4155.3s] if they have a spell that keeps their bed clean.
[4159.8s] Because he's so dirty right now.
[4161.1s] He's probably hating this.
[4162.1s] Flint, right?
[4163.2s] Flint, roll me a d20.
[4165.7s] Okay.
[4167.7s] Two.
[4170.3s] Maybe that's good.
[4171.4s] So Flint, you gotta say something.
[4174.9s] I yell out, I'm not wearing any underwear.
[4181.8s] So Flint looks very confused at this point
[4184.2s] and yells out, I'm not wearing any underwear,
[4186.4s] which catches you all off guard,
[4188.0s] except for Nularaaais.
[4188.8s] She's lying on the ground almost dead.
[4190.6s] But everybody else is very confused by this.
[4192.5s] Nularaaais, it's your turn.
[4193.4s] Make a death saving throw.
[4195.0s] Go, Karla.
[4196.1s] Okay, I sure will.
[4198.9s] 10 or higher is what you gotta get.
[4202.7s] Okay.
[4203.7s] No pluses.
[4204.6s] Oh, that is a seven.
[4207.7s] You have what's called a failure.
[4210.0s] I got two more tries, right?
[4211.9s] Two more tries.
[4212.8s] Unless you roll a one,
[4215.2s] and then you have one more try.
[4216.6s] And then that's it.
[4217.4s] Oh, okay.
[4220.2s] Well, that was fun.
[4221.0s] Okay, Thea, you're up.
[4223.1s] All right.
[4224.6s] I'm going to take,
[4226.0s] and I'm immediately going to take a rare healing potion.
[4231.1s] Okay.
[4232.0s] So that's eight D four plus eight.
[4233.8s] I'm not fucking dying today, you guys.
[4238.3s] Okay, so feeling still really shitty.
[4241.8s] I'm going to conjure animal
[4246.3s] and I'm gonna conjure up eight wolves.
[4251.5s] So you got to roll them into initiative.
[4254.0s] Okay, so the first set got a 16.
[4255.8s] Okay.
[4257.9s] And the second set got an 11.
[4259.5s] Good news is you have eight wolves
[4261.2s] that magically appear.
[4262.2s] Where do they appear?
[4263.6s] Four of them appear surrounding Narenvain.
[4267.4s] And the rest kind of appear like around me,
[4272.8s] I guess, I don't know.
[4274.7s] So good news, there are eight wolves
[4276.4s] that just poof into existence.
[4279.3s] Bad news is they don't get to go until
[4283.8s] another turn has gone through.
[4285.6s] Well, that's okay.
[4286.4s] Because they rolled higher than everybody else.
[4288.7s] That's currently gone.
[4290.0s] That's okay.
[4290.8s] So you're good.
[4292.3s] You're moving, yes, no, maybe so.
[4294.8s] Yeah, I'm gonna move.
[4295.7s] I want to move away from where I'm at,
[4299.2s] away from the door.
[4301.1s] And I want to make sure I got my shield on.
[4302.4s] So you're moving towards Nulara.
[4304.5s] Yes.
[4305.4s] Can I move towards her and give her a potion?
[4307.2s] Lara is 65 feet away.
[4309.9s] Oh no, I can't move that far.
[4311.4s] But you can start moving, you can, well,
[4313.5s] you can move, you could make it next turn
[4317.2s] if you moved your full 30 feet
[4319.7s] and then had a dash action
[4321.4s] to get to her for the next turn.
[4323.3s] I think I might do that
[4324.1s] because her first roll was so shitty.
[4329.0s] So I'm gonna move towards Nulara.
[4330.9s] Okay, so you are now there.
[4332.4s] Delaine is still by the door.
[4334.4s] We'll say that the wolves move along with you.
[4337.8s] Okay, it is Narenvane's turn.
[4341.4s] So you are, from Narenvane's point of view,
[4343.7s] you are obscured.
[4345.3s] He can't see you or Delaine
[4346.8s] because he can't see through the thicket that is there.
[4350.1s] But Thaddeus and Flamikinskins are there.
[4352.6s] And what he can do is attack them.
[4356.5s] Bring it.
[4357.4s] Oh, and Flint.
[4358.2s] Flint, he can see Flint too.
[4360.4s] So he moves.
[4361.3s] Flint's like, nevermind.
[4362.1s] Please don't bring it.
[4363.0s] Please don't bring it.
[4363.8s] Nevermind, bring it for those NPCs.
[4366.7s] He moves away from the hand thing that's in the ground.
[4372.0s] Does he have to do anything
[4372.8s] if he moves out of range of that?
[4374.7s] Well, as an action,
[4377.0s] I can cause a hand to reach for another creature
[4380.1s] or move to a different unoccupied space, so no.
[4382.6s] Okay, so what he does,
[4384.6s] he's gonna release a poisonous cloud
[4387.0s] that fills a 20-foot radius sphere
[4390.5s] centered on Thaddeus and Flamikinskins.
[4395.1s] The gas-
[4395.9s] Sure sounds like a stinking cloud.
[4398.0s] Yeah, so both of them have to make
[4399.5s] a constitution saving throw.
[4401.7s] 16.
[4402.7s] Thaddeus rolls a 19.
[4405.5s] 16 and 19 both save,
[4407.9s] so you are not poisoned again.
[4411.6s] Hooray!
[4412.4s] And he yells up and he just says,
[4415.1s] Cuth!
[4417.4s] What up?
[4418.7s] And Cuth knows.
[4420.0s] Cuth knows what's up.
[4422.1s] He knows what's up.
[4423.1s] Veloska jumps into the room
[4426.2s] and is like, hey, I've been here the whole time.
[4429.1s] What's going on in here?
[4430.0s] Oh, sorry.
[4432.8s] Can like giant winter wolves snap their thumbs?
[4436.8s] This one can.
[4438.7s] All right.
[4439.6s] So-
[4440.4s] Is she just a winter wolf
[4441.2s] or is she a person as a winter wolf?
[4442.6s] She's a winter wolf.
[4443.5s] Okay, I was never quite sure.
[4445.8s] She comes in, quickly surveys the room
[4448.3s] and she dashes over to where Nulara is.
[4453.9s] Everything else is out of range,
[4455.4s] but she makes it to Nulara
[4457.0s] and is there as guarding that position.
[4461.3s] Well, that's nice.
[4462.1s] That's nice.
[4465.2s] Flamikins.
[4467.0s] Flamikins.
[4468.1s] Flamikins.
[4470.8s] Okay, first she's gonna take a healing surge.
[4475.6s] While she could move that earth and grasp thing,
[4481.0s] that would be her action, right?
[4483.6s] Says as an action and then should be done.
[4486.2s] Yeah.
[4487.0s] All right, well, she's gonna do that.
[4488.5s] She is going to do immolation.
[4493.8s] Which-
[4494.7s] Light something on fire.
[4496.0s] Yeah, flames, wreath, one creature.
[4499.1s] You can see within range,
[4500.2s] the target must make a dexterity saving throw.
[4502.2s] It takes eight to D6 fire damage on a failed save
[4505.9s] or half as much on a successful one.
[4508.2s] On a failed save,
[4509.6s] the target also burns for the spell's duration.
[4512.6s] The burning target sheds bright light
[4514.4s] in a 30 foot radius.
[4517.7s] At the end of each of its turns,
[4519.6s] they must repeat a saving throw.
[4521.5s] She is gonna do this on the dragon.
[4527.8s] It's six.
[4530.0s] Of course it does.
[4532.2s] Why did you even roll?
[4533.2s] It's okay, they get half 86.
[4535.2s] Yeah, I mean, it's still something.
[4537.3s] All right, 23, so 11 damage.
[4543.1s] It's on fire.
[4545.6s] And at the end-
[4546.5s] On a failed save, it's on fire.
[4548.9s] On a failed save, the target also burns.
[4550.6s] Okay, fine.
[4551.4s] So it's not on fire.
[4552.2s] Okay, fine.
[4553.3s] But at the end of each of its turns-
[4555.4s] If it's on fire.
[4556.3s] Never mind, just kidding.
[4558.4s] I missed right there.
[4559.9s] The hand drops and Flamikins Kins is like,
[4562.5s] holy fire bullshit!
[4566.7s] And flames wreath around the dragon.
[4569.7s] He bellows a roar that shakes,
[4572.6s] stones fall from the ceiling.
[4574.3s] And it's back to the lair's turn.
[4578.6s] Oh, yay.
[4579.8s] That lair, so good.
[4582.7s] It heals us all full.
[4585.2s] It's tired of cooth shit.
[4586.9s] Totally. Right?
[4588.4s] The dragon locks eyes with Delaine
[4592.8s] and they glow bright green
[4595.0s] and he must make a wisdom saving throw.
[4597.6s] You're welcome to make the saving throw.
[4600.2s] For me, so I don't taint it or anything.
[4604.4s] Too bad he didn't lock eyes with Thea
[4607.0s] because she has the chance to redo
[4608.8s] saving throws if needed.
[4610.4s] Oh, right.
[4611.4s] That probably would have been good
[4612.4s] to keep you guys alive, but didn't happen.
[4614.7s] Wisdom plus one.
[4616.3s] 12.
[4618.1s] And you see Delaine's eyes glow as well.
[4622.8s] And he is what's considered charmed
[4625.4s] by the lair at this point.
[4628.3s] Neat.
[4629.1s] Thaddeus.
[4630.0s] Thaddeus' turn.
[4631.4s] All right, hold on.
[4632.8s] I'm looking at stuff.
[4634.2s] Do something cool.
[4635.8s] Russ, how far away are New Laura and the wolf?
[4640.2s] Say about 30 feet.
[4642.5s] Perfect.
[4643.4s] That's exactly as much as I need it to be.
[4647.4s] So Thaddeus runs over to New Laura
[4651.2s] and as he's going, he reaches into his pocket
[4654.4s] and pulls out a handful of small diamonds
[4657.1s] and touches New Laura on the forehead
[4659.8s] and casts Revivify on her
[4662.6s] and brings her back to consciousness
[4664.9s] with one hit point.
[4666.2s] Ooh.
[4667.0s] So enjoy that one hit point.
[4670.6s] So with a blinding light of clerical genius,
[4678.0s] Thaddeus releases this energy into New Laura
[4682.3s] and her eyes open and she is back conscious.
[4687.6s] Not feeling good, but conscious.
[4689.7s] Yeah, yeah.
[4690.5s] That was not the point.
[4691.4s] The point was for her to wake up.
[4694.2s] Cooth's turn.
[4697.1s] Does not recharge his breath,
[4698.4s] but he hears the call,
[4700.8s] the call from Nerenvane
[4702.4s] and he flies down to Nerenvane
[4705.5s] who reaches into the saddlebag on the side of Cooth
[4709.2s] and see him chug a potion and hop up onto Cooth
[4714.4s] and yells.
[4715.6s] You may have won this battle,
[4717.8s] but the war is knocking at your door.
[4721.1s] Cooth dives into the lake and disappears.
[4727.4s] Does that mean Delaine's not all charmed anymore?
[4729.9s] Oh no, Delaine's still charmed.
[4732.4s] Does a healing kit un-charm people?
[4735.0s] No.
[4736.3s] Does?
[4738.6s] No, he's charmed.
[4739.4s] So we're still in initiative order.
[4742.8s] So Cooth, and it's Delaine's turn
[4744.9s] and he takes aim at Thea.
[4747.8s] No, you don't, baby.
[4750.7s] Baby, no.
[4752.7s] Remember the closet.
[4755.1s] It was like five minutes ago.
[4757.3s] He shoots two bolts quickly at you.
[4762.2s] First one is a 20, not critical.
[4765.0s] Second one is a 13.
[4767.7s] And now does my shield do anything for me?
[4769.8s] You are running away from him, so no.
[4772.0s] Son of a bitch.
[4774.4s] You still have a 16 AC, so only one of them hits you.
[4776.8s] I know, but still.
[4778.4s] Yeah.
[4779.4s] Still not great.
[4781.1s] So you take eight piercing damage
[4783.5s] in your back shoulder blade.
[4786.1s] Rude.
[4787.2s] And it's your wolves one through four's turn.
[4791.1s] Does he not have to make like a roll or anything
[4793.8s] or is he just like charmed?
[4795.4s] He's charmed.
[4796.3s] Can't like fight it?
[4797.1s] No.
[4798.0s] Jesus. All right.
[4799.3s] Well, I stick my wolves on him.
[4800.8s] When a wolf bites him,
[4802.6s] he's going to be knocked prone if he fails.
[4806.0s] Yeah.
[4806.9s] Can you get all of the wolves to coordinate
[4808.8s] and all just like lick his face a bunch
[4810.8s] when he's down on the ground
[4811.8s] so he remembers like that he's his old self again?
[4814.1s] Oh, wouldn't that be heartwarming?
[4815.7s] No, I'm going to go in to bite him
[4816.8s] because he just hit me in the back.
[4818.5s] Charmed?
[4819.9s] That's right. Don't fuck with me.
[4820.8s] Don't screw me over.
[4822.4s] Thea does not take that lightly.
[4824.7s] So he's going to get attacked by wolves.
[4826.2s] Yeah, he will.
[4827.0s] So they go to bite him,
[4829.8s] which is the first one's a 15, which doesn't hit.
[4834.8s] The second one is an 11, which doesn't hit.
[4837.0s] That one's a critical fail.
[4839.5s] It's all up to you, woofie.
[4843.0s] Fuck off.
[4844.1s] Nothing fucking happens.
[4845.3s] Okay.
[4846.2s] This is-
[4847.0s] The wolves turn and run towards him
[4848.6s] and just kind of surround him.
[4851.8s] Nulara, it's your turn.
[4853.5s] You have just woken up from death.
[4857.4s] So you are lying prone and have one hit point left.
[4862.2s] Okay.
[4863.0s] Well, I guess I'm going to take a healing search.
[4865.4s] Might be good.
[4866.2s] Okay.
[4867.6s] And I am also going to...
[4873.0s] Okay. I have a rare healing potion,
[4875.2s] which is eight D four plus eight.
[4880.4s] That's what I use to make sure I didn't die.
[4883.3s] Okay.
[4884.2s] So, 27 plus eight is 35.
[4891.8s] Does that mean you have 36 hit points now?
[4894.6s] No, I did a healing search as well.
[4896.2s] So I now have 40 hit points.
[4898.2s] Nice.
[4899.6s] And I guess I stand up.
[4901.8s] Can you also throw something and knock Delaine out?
[4905.4s] All I see is him surrounded by wolves probably.
[4908.0s] Like, I don't know that he just shot you or anything.
[4910.8s] That's true.
[4911.6s] Yeah.
[4912.5s] That's reasonably, I wouldn't just start shooting him.
[4915.1s] Okay. I guess that's my turn.
[4918.1s] Yeah. Okay.
[4918.9s] You just be like, lovers quarrel.
[4922.9s] Oh, shit. Sorry.
[4924.0s] I skipped Flint and your other wolves.
[4928.4s] I'm sorry. I went wolves, wolves.
[4930.7s] So retroactively, Flint, it's your turn.
[4935.2s] You just yelled, I'm naked or something.
[4937.9s] Yeah. It's really weird.
[4939.4s] Not wearing underwear.
[4940.6s] Thank you very much.
[4941.9s] I mean, we all knew, but.
[4943.5s] Yeah. It's been well established.
[4946.8s] Yeah. I'll pick up the dragon arrow
[4948.9s] and make my way over to like where Nulara is.
[4954.1s] I'm not quite close enough, I think,
[4955.8s] but I'll start going over there.
[4957.2s] You can get just about to where she is.
[4960.0s] Five wolves.
[4961.8s] They have a really, they've got a speed of 40.
[4966.0s] Can my other wolves make it over?
[4967.5s] No, because there's a big thicket
[4969.0s] that they would then have to run through,
[4972.2s] which would, I mean, they could try.
[4973.3s] It would cause, it would cause pokey damage.
[4976.8s] Oh, I don't want to cause my wolfies pokey damage.
[4979.5s] They'll come to the opening of the.
[4982.0s] Thea, then it's your turn.
[4983.8s] Oh my God.
[4984.6s] I'm going to turn around.
[4985.6s] I'm going to bitch slap him so hard.
[4989.2s] Okay. Well, I run over and I like hurt him a whole lot.
[4994.0s] I'm going to thorn whip him
[4995.0s] and he's going to take one D6.
[4997.1s] This is the closest I get to bitch slapping him.
[5000.8s] He takes one damage.
[5002.7s] Okay.
[5004.0s] But maybe you like wrap that thorn whip around his hand
[5007.4s] and like prevent him from using his bow anymore.
[5010.1s] I, well, what I do is the creature is,
[5014.2s] I pulled the creature 10 feet closer to me.
[5017.5s] So there's that.
[5019.1s] Did he snap out of it when I?
[5020.6s] Nope.
[5022.4s] Laska grabs hold of his other arm
[5025.8s] or tries to grab hold of his other arm.
[5029.9s] Does so.
[5031.2s] So now he's held by a thorny whip and a Laska.
[5035.0s] Flammacan's turn.
[5036.4s] Is she close?
[5037.2s] She's not even close, is she?
[5039.5s] She's on the other side where Thaddeus was.
[5042.1s] So she's.
[5043.8s] This thicket's really throwing me for a loop.
[5046.6s] The thicket's there.
[5047.4s] So yeah, you got to go like around the thicket
[5049.1s] or you got to cut through the thicket,
[5050.5s] but it's poke, pokey bushes.
[5052.3s] Pokey bushes.
[5053.6s] So many pokey bushes.
[5054.6s] So many pokey bushes.
[5056.1s] I don't know what to do guys.
[5057.2s] Maybe I just let it ride and see what happens next.
[5061.5s] Yeah, she just lets it ride and sees what's going to happen.
[5063.8s] We go back to the top of the order at the lair action
[5066.3s] and his eyes flash green again
[5069.2s] and he is no longer charmed.
[5071.0s] And he's like, whoa, what's going on here?
[5073.6s] And he is no longer charmed.
[5075.7s] I walk the few feet between us and slap him.
[5081.3s] He deserves it.
[5082.2s] I feel like I deserve that, maybe.
[5085.8s] Point to my back.
[5088.1s] Sorry.
[5090.2s] You all stand around taking a breath,
[5093.1s] healing what you can,
[5095.4s] watching the pool settle to a calm still.
[5101.3s] You don't hear the roar,
[5103.4s] the rumble that came from Cuth as he left the cave.
[5110.1s] You look around and you survey the lair,
[5113.2s] poisonous clouds dissipating,
[5116.4s] the thicket beginning to shrivel
[5118.9s] and go back into the earth.
[5121.5s] You look to each other,
[5123.4s] knowing that you came close to death.
[5125.9s] Lucky this time you may have been,
[5130.0s] but knowing that you will have to fight again,
[5132.5s] even harder to make sure the cult of the dragon
[5136.4s] does not achieve their goal.
[5143.6s] It leaves you all to die.
[5145.6s] Music in today's episode was by Kavin McLeod of Incompetech.Filmmusic.io.
[5169.7s] I read mine totally wrong.
[5172.8s] I thought it was writing in some sort of southern drawl.
[5176.1s] I like where this is going.
[5180.0s] It goes, big spiders come.
[5182.1s] We fight them.
[5183.1s] Equal.
[5184.1s] Eight wolves.
[5185.1s] I rock.
[5186.1s] Then we find the waterfall.
[5188.5s] And this says, this is supposed to say, I do recon.
[5193.5s] But I read it as, then we find the waterfall.
[5196.6s] I do reckon there's a cave.
[5199.0s] Like, I do declare.
[5200.8s] I do!
[5201.8s] I do!
[5202.8s] I reckon there's a dragon lair behind that there waterfall.
[5207.2s] Do y'all see them spiders?
[5209.5s] Oh my.
[5212.3s] We go in and I charm our way into the cave past the elven guards.
[5217.9s] We find Delaine is all fucked up and taken captive and we rescue him and a bunch of
[5222.2s] elves that have also been taken captive.
[5224.8s] And then we wait until Kuth, the dragon, comes back and then we're going to kick his ass
[5230.1s] too.
[5231.1s] Yeah we are.
[5232.1s] Uh, okay, let's go with Zone of Tru- no, um.
[5236.4s] Cast Zone of Truth.
[5238.3s] I am hurt and I am a little mad at- I knew it!
[5245.6s] It was really funny but I don't feel well.
[5248.5s] It was funny in the moment and then the next section we realized that it was probably
[5252.5s] a bad idea.
[5254.0s] Thea's gonna lose her virginity if it's the last thing she does and it might be in this
[5258.5s] closet.
[5259.5s] Flamigan screams, nooooo!
[5265.5s] Close your eyes, Flamigans!
[5267.5s] That is just like, I've seen it all.
[5270.5s] Whatever.
[5271.5s] I picture him as such an old hippie that he would just be like, whatever.
[5275.5s] Free love, man.
[5276.5s] Free love.
[5277.5s] You're doing it wrong.
[5278.5s] Exactly.
[5279.5s] You're doing it wrong.
[5281.4s] You're like, yeah, it's my first time, I'm probably doing it wrong.
[5284.4s] Dump, dump, dump, dump, dump, dump, dump, dump, dump.
[5287.4s] Okay, so he, uh huh, uh huh, okay.
[5294.4s] Sounds like a lot of good information around this game.
[5297.4s] Yup.
[5298.4s] Good.
[5299.4s] Realizes they went to high school together.
[5300.4s] Realizes they went to high school together.
[5301.4s] Nularaaaa?
[5302.4s] Is that you?
[5303.4s] Oh it's so weird to run into you here, especially since you grew up only with
[5309.1s] your brothers.
[5310.7s] Am I your brother?
[5314.7s] This is where your backstory comes into play.
[5316.7s] Which one do you want this to be?
[5319.7s] So for the first hit, that will be 612.
[5324.7s] You didn't roll that one.
[5325.7s] I didn't roll that one.
[5326.7s] You son of a bitch.
[5327.7s] 612, 15.
[5328.7s] 2.
[5329.7s] You watch him, Amy.
[5330.7s] You watch him like a hawk.
[5331.7s] I am watching him.
[5332.7s] Someone has to.
[5333.7s] 612, 15, 25.
[5334.7s] Sorry, what was your damage?
[5337.7s] What's your damage, Russ?
[5340.3s] Right?
[5341.3s] Heather?
[5342.3s] Nope, dog.
[5343.3s] Go somewhere else.
[5346.3s] Chew your bone on your bed.
[5349.3s] I don't have that many dragon sound effects that I can put in here that will hide that.
[5356.3s] You do you, Paisley.
[5357.3s] Don't listen to him.
[5358.3s] It's really rude to say some unspeakable horror is going to happen and then make
[5361.8s] us wait for it.
[5363.3s] Totally.
[5364.3s] Some really crazy shit happens in there.
[5367.3s] Builds the suspense though.
[5369.9s] Okay, so.
[5374.9s] I'm sorry.
[5375.9s] We're in the elevator to the Dragon's Lair.
[5377.9s] So of course the girl for me, Benima, needs to play.
[5380.9s] You find yourself erupting.
[5383.9s] You find yourself erupting.
[5386.9s] Wow, all right.
[5387.9s] He turned into a volcano.
[5388.9s] And this is where the podcast ends.
[5389.9s] We just recorded that other episode to give you guys some hope.
[5395.9s] Where did I put Delaine?
[5398.5s] In my pants.
[5401.5s] You put him there.
[5403.5s] Russ didn't.
[5404.5s] With consent though.
[5405.5s] I didn't just put him there.
[5406.5s] No, no.
[5407.5s] It was enthusiastically consensual.
[5410.5s] Your weird making out in the closet while we were getting murdered.
[5415.5s] You weren't getting murdered.
[5416.5s] You guys were doing a great job and it was just super sexy.
[5420.5s] Dangerous sexy.
[5421.5s] Hey, did you guys know I have an option to reroll a save if I fail?
[5426.5s] Because I forgot, but I'll keep that in mind now.
[5429.1s] Good to know.
[5430.1s] Good to know.
[5431.1s] It's all right.
[5432.1s] We'll go for it.
[5433.1s] Nerenvane must.
[5434.1s] Nerenvane must.
[5437.1s] Nerenvane's constitution.
[5439.1s] Oh, he's constitution as fuck.
[5444.1s] Also, yet another time I conjure eight wolves who don't get to do shit.
[5451.1s] It was worth the effort though.
[5452.1s] They look rad.
[5453.1s] I think that's what scared the dragon off.
[5454.1s] Dumbgeons and Dragons is a Dumb Dragons production.